Genealogy Chat

Hi Everyone, How are you all ? Today I had my first email from my 1/2 BS, she seems nice. I also get regular emails from my BC, who is really lovely. I have not been in contact with my BM since she told me about my BF. I am not upset, I just need to take a step back for a couple of weeks to get my head around the whole thing. And I think maybe she needed the time as well to get her head around it also. It seems to have moved so quick, or maybe I was like a bull in a china shop and did not let up until I knew everything (within the month) as usual. Don't worry Ann patience is not my strong point either, maybe that the Aries in me. Everything seems to be going well, but as I said it is like a Roller Coaster ride. I have gone up, up then dowwwnnn the biggest hill and around the corkscrew. What next I am afraid to take my hands of my eyes is it up or down or around and round. Can anyone tell me! Aaarrrrr LOL Seeya later Melisa

To Dorothy Enjoy your trip to Scotland, have a bonny good time.lol Hi to all Well got up the courage to ring BM and she wasnt home. She was at the Dentist then went to her brothers. She has offered to ring me. So even though her memory has faded she is trying to communicate with me. That's all for now Annxx

HI JESS and friends I have not been on line for a couple of weeks getting the house in shape to sell doing some downsizing, so I have missed this news about new adoption legislation, as I did not find out I was adopted till I was 62 I think I have a somewhat different view now on the whole thing, I wish I had been told i had the best parents one could have but would have loved to have been able to plan ahead for some rather major health problems that were in my BM family on the maternal side. and have impacted on meand my son and family, I suppose better late than never does apply my new brother has been able to fill me in, but as we have no idea who my father was one does wonder what that side might have had hidden away. We have been trying to see if any of the BM friends who are alive will try and fill in some blanks but no luck as yet. I wish you all well with your searches things do have a way of working out, my brother and i are building a good friendship and I hope to meet him next year that will be my 65th birthday present to my self a trip over the pond to scotland bye for now dorothy

HEY U 2 STOP LAUGHING AT ME I DID THINK IT WAS AUNT......... BUT HAD TO ASK COULDNT REMEMBER.....MUST BE THE AGE.LOL I forgot I told you that BA is coming over. Dont think she would know anything BM had lots of secrets. No Sheila, in contact with BU. She doesnt have email. She had given me her address and phone number but have not had the courage to ring her. Annxxx

Hi Jess BUncle isn't that something on the side of your foot ;O) oops thats carbuncle or is that a BU who sells cars ? Yes guess we forget a we have been on theother three threads its not obvious to the other, forgot to mention BG - birth grandmother BGM - birth grandmother BA-- birth Aunt BU- birth uncle :O) BC- birth cousins think thats it unless your into genology then its gets to GBG; GBGM etc etc ;O) Glad to see you happy now Jess, don't the let them get your down. Sheila

sorry i need to smile and this thread has made me do that right now! we use these abbreviations and assume each other knows what we mean , although they have just happened, no official meaning to any of them. B/M = birth mother B/F = birth father B/sister= birth sister B/Bro = birth brother B/Sib = birth Sibling what made me laugh ( or smile) although it is NOTHING personal is, a reply or two ago , ref to a birth uncle, abbrevaited in the same way, with a finger - left - on - caps slip. i have found lots of birth rellies , but never a BUncle!! thank you for making me smile! jess

Hi Ann, Glad to see that your sister has been in touch, still taking things slow then ? by the way how many of you are there ? have just the 2 of you traced BM so far. So you have family in Germany heh, small world, :O) hope they haven#t had the same amount of snow as us, though its picking up now. BA is birth Aunt, didn't you say one time you where in touch with her, and she was thinking of coming to Australia to see you ? is this BF's ( birth Uncle's wife?) If she is the sister to BM then maybe she can fill in some of the gaps for you, seems wierd having to put BS, BM, BA etc, but this is the only way of clarifying things as it gets quite complicated, especially when there are more than one sibling involved. Hope you hear back soon from BM, I know we both know in theory that it's a waiiting game, but in practise its another thing. Funny remember you saying about your BS, one minute your cautious about rushing things, then next you worry if she has not been in touch for a few days in case she is cooling of, guess its mixed emotions for everone involved heh :O) Take Care for now all Sheila

Hi everyone Sheila Yep I know, I have to play the waiting game. Talking of Germany ,my in-laws come from Germany and all their family still live in Germany. lol Heard from BS last week so things are ok. What is BA silly old me cant remember???? Got email from BUncle and he cant read one page so I have to type it out for him....Some of the stuff they couldnt read anyway and have ???? on it. Annxx

Thanks Sheila Sent Judy a message; fingers crossed she can help Sandrax

Hi Ann, You should move here to Germany they like everything in triplicate ;O) Reckon that lot of evidance would even convince a lawyer, dont think she has forgotten as your birth was a bad experience necessarily, but they were told in the 1960's to go away and forget about us (think she may have took this point too literally tho :O( Seriously though,they never thought they would have contact with us again, and where told it was for the best for everyone to go away and put us out of their minds, it could be the way she coped convincing herself that it was not real, or she may need to be sure that you are who you say you are. Anyway you have waited 42 years whats another week or two ;O) By the way how are things with BS and BA going ?guess they haven't asked for evidance of who you are, apart from the paperwork we cant really show anything, I mean a picture from then and now wouldn't work, although I still have the same round face and double chin, do you reckon that counts ? Don't forget patience is a virtue, and now you have to play waiting game ;O) Hope she get back to you soon. Take Care for now Sheila

Sheila my half sister lives in the usa and has put her /our family tree on my trees .com i dont know if she knows about me but it has given me hope as my mum is still alive which means alot to me . will need to make a move but not sure how to go about it. Why does it have to be so difficult? Sx

Hi everyone Sheila Yes I did send her the BC and a page of Adoption consent and the Homes papers as well. Do you think that should jog her memory........Hope so. I have had 3 children also and for the life of me cant forget having all 3 experiences .But I suppose they were a joy to have not something to have and give away. I'll just have to wait and see..And you know I hate waiting.......lol Annxx

thanks Sheila but i dont know my half sisters married name but at least i know my mum is still alive. I feel my credit card is going to have to take the weight of this. I found it by accident on my trees .com Thanks again Sandra Hope your well

Just remembered another site, www.webdetective.com will give you some links to other sites. has she put a message on for you on her web site ? if she is looking for you try www.missing-you.net this is free, and some of our family have used it from Canada for an adoptee. What is the site she is on that it is so expensive to join ? Sheila

Hi Sandra, Have you her current name and do you know what state she lives in ? there is www.infobel(.)com that lists the american telephone directory. They also have some sites for finding people although I do not know how good they are or the costs involved. The other thing you could do is ask for help from our American members there are a few on here, I know Judy from the states has helped people with look ups not just computer problems. Good Luck! Sheila

Need some help everyone; Do you know anyone who uses an usa genes site. Have managed to trace who i think is my natural mum but to join would cost $560 which is out of my reach. Can anyone recommend anyone who could help on this site. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. Sandra

Hi Ann, Hope you have calmed down now ;O) reckon she must have a very high pain threshold, believe me, I remember having everyone of my 3 girls :O) Maybe she is just making sure this is not some sort of cruel hoax, remember on the Sucess Board when someone pretended to be a BM son :O( That and the fact she is having problems adjusting to the fact that after 40 odd years her birth children have found her, are there any other siblings before she married ? Is she married now ? and worried you may upset the apple cart ? these can be real fears to a BM. Anyway if she has doubts show her your original BC, if you have a copy of the adoption records you can even show her a copy of her signature, hopefully she won't say its a forgery ;O) Linda do you want to know who was at the address in 1916 or now ? think you will need to ask for an electoroa roll look up at the main library in the area if its 1916. Kim, Glad to see things worked out for you, the adoption register you mention is held at Southport so if you go onto the gro.gov-uk link and go into the adoption you should find details. Jess Thanks for the e.mails the other day. Take care for now all. Sheila

Hi all When I was searching for my birth mother I used a site called lookupuk (. c o m ). Lots of helpful people helped me to find more information about my birth mother that eventually led to me contacting her (not through the site but through genes reunited!) You do need a certain degree of information to start with. I was quite lucky that my social worker at the time I was adopeted gave my adoptive parents a letter containing information that I might want to know when I was older. There is also a government run Adoption register that adoptees and their birth families can join. When a link is made you are informed and can make contact through the agency. I can't remember the link for it but I will look at the paperwork I have and post it on Monday. Good luck to all those searching for their birth families... sometimes it can seem like your not getting anywhere but keep trying. ~Kimberley~

I am not an adoptee but am interested in your thread and the advice it offers as my father was 'taken-in' by a lady in 1916 before records began. I know the name and address of his birth mother in 1916 and was wondering the best way of searching who was living there? Would a Post Office Guide give me this information? Linda

Ann- I know what that feels like. when my older sister asked BM about my birth she denied i existed! again good old Birth cert had to come into play whereupon she promptly replied that she had 'forgotten...' erm...erm....how do you forget? Jess x