Genealogy Chat

hi Sheila, Yes youre probably quite right, I just found it bizarre. Mel, Hang on in there babe, I'm sure you will find the truth & (((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))) for now. Louise.

Hi Sheila Can you tell me more about Nugent's and when they closed down. Do you happen to know what areas they covered at the time. Many thanks for any help you can give. Cheers Gerry

lets just have a quick nudge - I am not supposed to be on here at all as I am supposed to be sorting and packing for the big move back South next week. In fact, this time next week I hope I shall be unpacking in Wales. I just had a long chat with a nice lady from Womens' Weekly who wants to do an article on Adoption - how long have you got!!!! lol I told her about the postings on here, so hopefully she will be able to get a good idea of what an assortment we all are, and how different and yet the same all our stories to date. By the way, where are you my full sister Jennifer Ann, born 22nd September, 1945, our mother lived in Bisley and we were born in Woking. Eileen PS - I don't believe anyone's records have been in fires, its just too easy for some of the SWs to say this, and hope we will go away. I'm off now to do some more sorting and packing

Hi Gerry, Not seen you about for a while, how are things going with your search for your brother ? Nugents used to be the Liverpool Catholic Chilldrens Society and also Catholic Social Services, thin it handlend mainly cases in the North West her if info on their site now The Nugent Care Society* www.nugentcare.co.uk Email: [email protected] Children's Fieldwork Services Blackbrook House Blackbrook Road St Helens, WA11 9RJ Tel: 01744 605700 Fax: 01744 608065 We seek to recruit, assess and train prospective adoptive parents for older children, those with learning difficulties and/or disabilities and brother and sister groups. The Team supports and supervises adoptive placements and offers post adoption services when required. The Team provides section 51 counselling under the Adoption Act 1976 to adopted adults whose adoptions the Society arranged, and assist the adopted person in tracing their birth relatives. The Team also counsels parents who are considering placing an expected child for adoption. Home study assessments for intercountry adoptions are undertaken on behalf of various councils in the North West area. Was it a particular Society you where interested in ? I thought yours was arranging for you to contact your brother, no news there yet ? Eileen Best of luck with your move, hope it all goes smoothly, think your right about the files as well, but at least now the law is in our favour to persue the matter if they will not disclose the info Nugents was taken to court I think it was 2001 as a test case for not disclocing info to an adoptee, and seems to have now changed its stance somewhat,, that said there are many good SW out there willing to help, guess its the luck of the draw, but most of them do move at at a snails pace. Take Care all. Sheila

Hi Sheila I found my brother in November last year. I'd seen searching for him for 15 years. I managed to get his adoption certificate after realising I'd been sitting on a clue from the adoption register people since 1991 (I'm a bit thick) 'After Adoption' contacted him personally (and not through his adopted mother for once this time) I received his message a few days before Christmas that he doesn't wish contact with me or our other brother (our mother died in 1990) My other brother lives an hour away from him and I live in Melbourne... half a world away. I left it 3 months until his birthday and sent him a card and a letter in it. He will have received it two weeks ago and he hasn't replied. If he read the letter (and not binned it) I think he may change his mind about contact... one day. He still lives at home with his a/mother who is quite elderly now... perhaps, it's a loyalty thing. I have all sorts of sonarios (sp?) going round in my head as to why a 49 year man still lives with his mother. But... I live in hopes that he'll make contact one day, just hope I'm not in my dotage when he does. Cheers Gerry

HI all Well its been a sad week........but in saying that its a relief as well.. My BB has refused contact and yes it was a relief for both my BS and me. I cant go into details but he didnt get the fairytale Adoption story like my BS and I. And his life went up and down from then on. And even though I was happy to finally have a brother.....it was not my fairytale bro. Do you think we forget that not all have great lives and some just have plain shit from the start....excuse the shit. And make things worse it was my curiosity that caused his confusion as he didnt know he was adopted....That makes me sad and somewhat guilty. And it was his honesty that told us of his bad past. Sheila My BM told me I was a one night stand....so I dont think I will ever know his name... But received letter from BU and he said BM was a bag nerves after my call but also happy that I rang. Who knows maybe her memory might come back one day. Some days I want to get of this roller coaster and go home. Other days I want to keep on riding. Do any of you sometimes want to turn the clock back? Annxx

The problem is that we cannot turn the clock back, and maybe, just maybe, many of our mothers wished the same thing. However bad our starts were, at least we are here, and able to be in a wonderful world despite many peoples efforts to spoil it. Lets have a group cyber hug to say to eachother that we care for eachother despite our often sad beginnings and experiences. These postings certanly prove that we do care for eachother, and that is something to take great comfort in. (((((hugs))))) to all of us Eileen

For Everyone Don't give up on never knowing who your father was. I reunited twin sons with their mother (aged 89) about 3 years ago - they were given up at 13 months in the early 1940's. Bless her, she didn't remember their father when they asked. About 6 months later she was having tea with their sister and suddenly she remembered their father's name. I know she was in the early stages of dementia but at least it came to her. I do believe a lot of ladies who gave up their children are in denial because of the guilt forced upon them and they 'block out' the memories. Joan an adoptive mum who has reunited her son with his first mum.

Hi Everyone, Happy Packing Eileen. Well I have had a email from my 1/2 BS, 2 actually, the first one said after I had emailed her asking to explain herself as I might have missed something. The first one came back with ' I don't know who he is and that BM had not really mentioned much to her about it ' The second a few hours later came saying that she had spoken to BM and she told her that she had told us both the same story and 1/2 BS was unsure as to what BM had told me about BF. So maybe it was all a bit of a storm in a tea cup ( I hope ) we will have to wait it out - Sorry Guys for getting all a bit put out and not waiting for a reply before I posted, I just needed to vent I guess. I am normally not a overly sensitive person and look at most things with a Oh Well can't please everyone attitude, but with this I second guess everything and are always reading things into what the emails say. I am going neurotic or what ?? LOL Thanks again for being there! And ((((((((hugs ))))))))))) for everyone who needs it, Seeya Melisa

Hi Mel I'm pretty sure we all try to read between the lines when we get a reply,i certainly do.I look and question the contradictions i can see in a message or sometimes in a single line of a message,and ask 'how can you say that there,then say this here?' I beleive it comes from the fear that someone is hokding back on letting you know something that good or bad you really need to know for your own sake. My half brother says things like 'anything i can tell you about your parents may not be nice',then won't tell me anything.Well when it is put that way you tend to think he knows something and i would rather hear that my b/m was a bit of a floosie than wonder if she got caught out once when she fell drunk,or that my b/f was a womaniser rather than he had an uncontrolled attack of lust. I just scream at the monitor 'Tell me',i'm a big boy now i don't need him to protect me by ignoring my messages. Now who's venting off lol Glen

Hi Glen, I know how you feel, you just want to shake them and say for goodness sake lets get it all over and done with now and tell me everything, the good, bad and the ugly. At least we can deal with it and move forward from there. I have no patience - at all. I am sure that if I had been living in England I would have probably already knocked on one of the birth families door, with a couple of extermly large bottles of wine, just to get the lips started !! LOL Seeya Melisa

Hi, Joan, glad you are back. Hope you had a good holiday. Thanks to everyone wishing me a good move - is the actual process ever good - lol. All I know is that we adoptees don't only carry emotional baggage, it leaks over to making us have material baggage as well. Please someone say I am not the only hoarder. Nearest charity shops are 40 twisting partly single track miles away. I can't bear to just 'bin' stuff. Someone might use that lampshade etc. Off for another half hours work then I'll reward myself with another wee peek at GR Eileen

nudged for a newby **welcome**

Hi Melisa I think we all get a bit neurotic from time to time. Does your 1/2 BS know who her father is? Maybe she was just a bit jealous and genuinely has never known who your BF is and thought that your BM might have told you and her nose was a little out of joint at the thought that she had never been told? Hopefully it will be a storm in a tea cup Rebecca :)

Hi Rebecca, My BM went on to marry another man a 2 1/2 years after I was born, and they had 3 children. The 1/2 sister that I am in contact with is the middle one. I have heard nothing about the older 1/2 BS or the younger 1/2 BB, or what they think of me contacting BM and having regular contact with BS. I am sure there will be more roller coaster rides ahead, luckily it was always my favorite ride. I did not go much for the carousel. Seeya Melisa

nudge

nudge Hi mel

Hi Ann, Nice to see that I am not the only one sitting in front of the computer on a Friday night !! lol Melisa

Hi Mel Yes my life is as exciting as yours..lol Nothing on the T.V Annxx

Ten minutes out from trying to wallpaper a teenage girls bedroom,during school holidays andwith furniture and teenagers in the way .Nice to get back in hee and a little 'sane insanity'. Hugs for all who need them. Hopefully next week i will be in Lincoln,my birth place and home of the last two generations of my birth family. Strange to think i used to work there,just 50 yards from the church where my b/m married the first time.I can feel a few times when the tissues will be on hand. Glen