Genealogy Chat

if anyone wants to copy the adoption ''Hints and hugs'' please do so today. I shall be deleting them later and ceasing participating in adoption discussion forthwith. Regards Jess x

Morning Jess. This isn't like you - What's happened now?? Jools

See the thread on general board Adoption counselling ...For Jess :- I think we must all persaude Jess not to delete these threads - they have given sound advice to adoptees. Her experience in this field is invaluable and very much appreciated.

Which thread Elaine Spain??

Jess..why ??? Look, you and I don't always agree, but don't give anyone the satisfaction by deleting your adoption threads. They help so many people. Don't let the uninformed opinions of others spoil it. Rebs

Jess, although I am not adopted but have many friends that are, I have read your threads in great depth and by what I have read they have been a great help in many many ways for the people that are. I dont know what has made you make this decision and its entirely upto you, but I just wanted you to know that I for one will miss them, and just to ask you to Please reconsider before you delete them. This board needs people like yourself Jess you are invaluable to many people and I just wanted you to know that. Marie: )

Jools - thread with title Adoption counselling ...For Jess :- by The Hooded Claw !!

I hope this helps Jess, My step father is musical director to the Cestrian male Voice choir,basically the conductor and arranger,the main man.Its patron is the Duchess of Westminster. He teaches 4 different musical instruments at schools,ie peripatetic,has done so for years.On top of that he has won competitions with other choirs he took over and improved . In addition he runs a youth jazz band who are competition standard.He composes music and arranges. He doesnt possess one single music certificate or qualification,not even an o level in music.

Jess - if you do delete, then Hooded Claw has won. Qualifications come in two varieties - bits of paper (not always worth the value of the paper they're written on) and those from the University of Life (priceless). I know which I'd rather have. If you're not adopted you have absolutely NO insight into our issues - you have an excellent insight Jess and it would be a shame for that to be lost just because some plonker thinks they need a civilised debate on general. Ignore them. Jools

Jess - do NOT delete your thread. I have dropped in on the threads at various times and from what I have seen - It's fantastic !!!! Pen x

I hope that you do not delete it, Jess. I think it would be a loss for many people.

I don't know who all those people are on those threads on General....(are they old members who have just changed their names??).....but they just love stiring things, don't they?? VULTURES. Jess.....you have never said you had qualifications for your post-adoption roll. I don't believe I have ever seen anyone explain their family history qualifications before answering a family history query. I don't mean to sound flippant, in saying that (adoption being a far more serious issue than family history), but some of those postings are beyond belief (though not knowing who these apparent newbies are may make it worse)...... PLEASE DO NOT DELETE YOUR THREADS....other people need them. Merry XXX

jess, i'm not adopted but i read your thread because my husband has a half brother that was adopted and we are trying to find him .jess you do a marvellous job please please dont give up. hazel.

Alter This is the first time I have seen THClaw....But has been a member for a while.....and seems to know Jess. General really p****s me off at the moment (yes, I know.....''don't read it then''....but it's like really bad TV....can't believe what you are watching and just have to see the next bit!) .....there are more threads on there about use and abuse of threads than about anything else (when someone isn't being s*****d off, that is)! Maybe instead of banning people from GR for a number of weeks when they are perceived to have done something wrong, they should be punished by being made to do their family tree??? Merry

hi jess please dont deleate your threads,they have bought so many adoptees so much help and comfort and support,you are a valued member of genes and we need you hugs angie xxx

Jess, As I said on that thread... We need people like you. Don't let them win please.You are doing an great job. C xxx

Well as many of you will know i post quite often on the hints and hugs boards,couldn't think 'outloud' with people who have experienced or are experiencing the feelings i have,and have made contact with some great people because of the boards. If my experience is anything to go by,then many users of the board will know that there are a lot of people who have contemplated looking into their adoption but don't post on the board,they do however send pm's and ask for guidance/reassurance/information/how to advice etc. Since January i have had probably 7 or 8 pm's a week,some offering advice,some support but mostly asking for the 'man's' side of the story,Why did you start?How are things going?Are you glad you have some answers? that kind of thing. It feels very comforting to know that other people have taken an interest in my quest,and taken the time to comment and extremely gratifying that they will ask for advice because i am the 'only man that seems bothered' (it's often chaps that ask or the wife/girlfriend of an adoptee but find it hard to use the public board). I know of at least ten adoptees that have started to look into their own adoption as a result of these pm's and none of this would have happened without the board. We NEED these boards,iffor no other reason than we all understand each other and how we need to chat with and amongst ourselves and with others. Glen

Hi Jess, I just want to add to the voices of those here who have pleaded not to delete the threads on adoption. I don't know what's happened to upset you, and it's such a shame that someone who seems as nice as yourself has been upset on here, but i've found the adoption threads to be highly interesting, and have added to them myself. I've also been spurred on to write to a cousin I only found out about a few years ago, who was pleased to hear from me. Please, reconsider Jess. Don't let anyone put you down, there seem so many people in life who are willing to do that, if there's someone on here who's done that to you, just think to yourself that you don't know this person, they don't even know you. They really aren't worth upsetting yourself over. Also, if it is the case that someone thinks they're better than you just because of a certificate, don't fall for that one, there's been many a time when I have found information that a so called 'professional' didn't even know how to find. Keep your chin up Jess, keep going. I hope you decide to reconsider Jess, Best wishes to you John

Jess, do not give in to emotional blackmail, which is what this is. Your threads do a lot of good and help many people. The odious thread has been removed from general and some one has written a public apology to you. Keep on in there. Sylvia.

Hi Jess, What on earth has happened now ? don't delete your threads, you know you have had confllict on these boards before, and have come through it :O) What the hell is having qualifications got to do with all this ? when all of us just try to offer sound advice to each other, I myself would not advocate that, everyone needs a proffessional to help them on this, some do some don't, but let me give you an example. When I had my first child, I had quite a bad labour at the end, I had 2 midwives one single young lady with a few years experience, and 1 a married woman 2 young kids and this was her first delivery, whilst there where complications and the single midwife was undoubtley of a great help, who do you think was more of a greater help to me ?the woman who had been through it! Stuff the qualifications dig, whatever it may have been......none of us advocate going in all guns blazing to this search, but we can give an insight into this secenario, which, with the best will in the world a trained counsellor may not! Don't let a couple of comments undo the good these thread have done. Take Care Sheila