Genealogy Chat

My daughter is buried in a special section for still born and neo natal deaths. A lot of the graves are neglected and it makes me very sad. Before I had my youngest I used to go once a week tiday round and even sweep the paths! I don't get time to do that anymore, but when I go I still have a tidy round and put back stuff that has been blown over or removed by nasty vermin that think it's funny to steal stuff off babies graves. I hate to see graves neglected, I have also been and put pots for my ancestors that have to head stone, I need them to know they are not forgotten Linda

Back in 1974, when we buried my beloved Grandma, there were two graves dug in readiness. One was my Gran's. Right next to it was another, but it was boarded over and we were asked to try and avoid it. A week later, I returned to Gran's grave and as expected, the other grave had been used, but there were no flowers or anything. Over the years, of going to the church yard at least once a month, the other grave has NEVER had flowers or a Headstone. As a child I never really thought about it, but being older and more curious now, I wonder who's grave it is. As we lived in a tiny village, everyone knew everyone, but obviously, because of our own grief at the time, we wouldn't have heard about the other death in the village. (Well I didn't - I was only 11). Now I realise that the other grave does belong to someone I would have known, and most likely the very old farmer who lived opposite us ... with only 7 cows that he brought in from the field every night and every morning. I have searched for another grave location for him, but to no avail. For the last 3 years I have taken an extra bunch of flowers and placed them in a pot on the grave, on the anniversary of my Gran's death, as this is when I presume he would have died. I don't know if what I do is the right or wrong thing to do, but no one else seemed to be around to care .. so why shouldn't I. Elaine ;-)

Hi, All, I was walking to my Grandson's school with my Daughter and on the way we used a path that cuts through Giants Grave cemetery in Briton Ferry, Neath. I was very sad to see the years of neglect. It was overgrown and some of the headstones were only barely visible amongst the tangle of vegetation. It is such a shame to see, it would be great to see some sort of restoration project. Donna.

Well Phoenix, as you know I lost my darling dad in October a day after his 91st birthday and I miss him so very much. He doesnt have a grave or a stone but I did what he wanted (totally illegally - but sue me!). Half his ashes are in the Thames at Surrey Docks and the other half in Paddock Wood by a row of hops.

In the cemetery here in my village, I live in France, there are four well tended British and Commonwealth war graves. An allied plane was shot down here near the end of the war and all the crew were killed. On Rememberance Day I took some poppies that my Mother had sent me up to the graves. I felt a bit daft but I was glad that I did it. One grave had flowers but the others were bare and on reading the inscriptions I realised that two of the men were Australian and so unlikely to be visited often. Helenx

Georgette. If you give me the date and one of the names I may be able to look up the details if they were in Bomber command.

Oh Brian that's a good idea! I'll go up tomorow and check all the details for you. I've been meaning to copy them down and to see if there's anyone on the site related to them. Thank you, Helenx

maybe we could all adopt a relatives grave!! or if w can't find a rellie just a well forgotten one--you never know it might start a trend and our ancestors might get better cared for !!

Hi Merry, I have rellies buried in East Cemetary Bournemouth and hope to go and find them some day soon,is the cemetary huge? would it be difficult to just go and hope I would find where my Grandma and her Sister are buried ? I have been told its a double grave. You might remember me you were very helpful recently on a death and electoral roll lookup in Bournemouth on my behalf. Ellen

i always straighten flowers,tidy up a bit etc whenever i visit any graveyard.As a family we often roam,reading and talking about the graves wherever we visit.Its how my children learn to read and write,tracing letters. They find wild flowers and place them on uncared for graves.. My sister is in a graveyard far away and i'd be delighted whoever placed flowers there.luckily my parents can. if anyone has any in the bangor/bethesda area i'm happy to help.

I had another trip to my local records office today and found another two youngsters who died very early,the same family as the two i mentioned at the start of the thread. So now i have 5 graves in the next town (4 for children under 8 months plus the mother) and 3 in Lincoln for children under one year old,makes you realise just how lucky we are in this day and age,at least most children (though not all i know) do survive. Glen