Genealogy Chat

I think you will see Patrick that people are putting a lot of thought in the best way to handle this. And the old chap (for all we know he isnt even the right man) wont be contacted direct but through relatives. I cant help thinking about my own dad who died aged 91 last October and he would have been over the moon to be contacted about this had it been him. I do understand what you mean - but what a terrible shame if this is the right man and he dies not knowing about this. And what if he knows of surviving sisters, brothers or great nephews/nieces of Hertha who would love to have these letters? Better than them laying in Lambeth archives until they are forgotten again.

I think the plan is to phone the children in the first instance not him, they are well aware of the impact this may have.

I agree it is right and proper to return the possessions, but at least write to the children first. You might give the poor old man a heart attack just ringing out of the blue.

I have followed this from the start and feel strongly that the belongings should go 'home' to someone who loved Herta, and that he has a right to know they exist. Please do not be put off by someone who clearly feels otherwise. I think he would surely be in the minority. It is absolutley right that if this is Heinz that he is at least told of the existance of of this suitcase and given the choice of whether he wants it or not. I know that this will be done with sensitivity and care, and there will be no intrusion into his privacy. As far as I can see, all those who have been involved in this have considered carefully each step they have taken It is because you care so deeply for people that you are doing this, so ignore the negative comment left by a previous poster. Good luck Mandy XX

Patrick, I think you are missing the point here. Contact WILL NOT be made direct to the gentleman concerned. His children will be put in the picture and they will then ask him gentle questions to see if the right gentleman has been found. That is all - no hounding of a frail old gentleman - just an enquiry. Snowdrops

Just wishing you Good Luck xxxx I've nothing to add to the search but have kept looking on this thread to keep updated. I dont think i'll sleep tonight! I wish you all the success ~ these belongings deserve to go home. xx Jen

Hi Carol I've been following this story and have been amazed at what you've uncovered. You have just asked if anyone else feels like Patrick, so I thought I'd add my opinion for what it's worth! No, I don't feel exactly like Patrick, but I think you should be very careful with the way you proceed. I would have thought that the people to ring Mr Boley should be the newspaper......if they are interested. If they are not, then a carefully worded letter to Mr Boley explaining how you read about this story and the things you have discovered. Put yourself in Mr Boley's shoes......would you want a total stranger ringing you at home telling you how they'd been digging around in your private life? It may sound better coming from an organization such as a newspaper. Jeanette x

If you feel it is appropriate to telephone an 86 year old man and ask him to revisit memories of 60 odd years , open old wounds , remind him of dreadful times, then you are of course free to do so. You are embarking upon a very dangerous mission. Do not be surprised if he slams the phone down. My father's 1st wife went missing during the war. He went on to marry my Mother, and would never discuss the matter. I urge extreme caution.

I don't find it disgraceful, I think at that age most elderly people take things like this in their stride, in fact even enjoy it. I agree it would be a good idea to speak to the younger Boley's. I would imagine they would certainly have an e-mail address as the internet has been free there for a number of years. Maybe Athena could e-mail them the link to the story before they speak to him so they can get a gist of it in black and white. Then they can decide wether he is up to it. If he is the right gentleman he has obviously got on with his life nd has his own family. I also agree it would be a good idea to ask if he knows of any living relatives of Herta. They have as much right to these possessions as anyone. Does have anyone have access to past electral rolls to see if Cilla Urman had family? Genes will probably be overloaded at midnight ...... will be so slow!! Good Luck Yvonne

Carol/Athena You go ahead - you are asking the people if this is their property and do they want it returning - that's all, in its simplest form. I'm sure if it's the right person they will be most grateful you have taken the trouble to find them. How many times has there been write-ups in newspapers about this sort of thing and the outcome is always the same - people are glad to know why certain things happened. Just imagine if he's sat there nursing a broken heart all these years (and yes, we all know he got on and made another life for himself) now he'll know it wasn't because she didn't love him and I'm sure he'll treasure the letters, photos etc. Don't be put off by one person. If you feel it's right - do it!! Snowdrops

Of course Heinz may well have been aware that she had died. All the more reason to let him have her belongings. If he for any reasons dosen't want them then of course they ought to go to an archive recording the fate of this young girl during the war. It is still an interesting story fromWW2. Pauline

No carol i think its one of those mysterys that would be nice to solve, and i dont mean to be personal Patrick considering you posted a message the other day regarding a death for this year and added the persons name dont you think its a bit like the pot calling the kettle black!! rant over

Patrick You are, of course entitled to your views. But the majority of us on this thread see this as uniting personal belongings to the rightful owner, or at least making them aware that these things exist. Imagine if you had been separated from a loved one - and a lifetime later you discovered that your letters and photos had survived and were in the possession of a stranger and being written about in the newspaper - I think you would want to know about it, wouldn't you? For all you know, that man may have spent the majority of his life wondering what happened to his fiancee. Wouldn't it be terrible if he went to his grave never knowing the truth - never knowing that she kept all his letters and photos - and what happened to her? And, as I have said on a previous thread, I will NOT be asking lots of personal, interrogating, questions. I will simply be explaining in brief about the newspaper article and that we are searching for any connections to Heinz Boley. I will NOT be speaking directly with the elderly gentleman himself but one of his family members and I will leave it to them if they wish to tell him about it or not. Yes, we are researching the dead most of the time, but often this leads us down the path of the living, too, making connections and bringing people together. It's not all about dead people. For all we know, Heinz may no longer be living - but if he is I bet that he would love to know that Herta's story has touched the hearts of so many of us today.

Does anyone else feel like Patrick, that it's an invasion of one's privacy! as I started all this off and the Newspaper in question asked if anyone knew what had happened to Herta, do you find this disgraceful, because I don't.

I agree with Karen. Pauline

We Are here to research our family history and anyone else that needs helping, i am sure if you had been a relative wouldnt you want the belongings back rather than sold to some newspaper so everyone could read your personal details?

Are you people seriously considering invading the privacy of an 86 year old man ? I find it disgraceful. We are here to research the dead, not ring up complete strangers asking personal questions. I am truly amazed. It is unbelievable

By the way where is the suitcase now and wll they give it up?? Rod

Its a shame lambeth feel that the story is finished with rather than try and reunite the suitcase with the right person Lets hope we can finish off what they started lol

hey everyone - I forgot to look at the old MIrrors so I'll shuffle up there and do it once I've eaten this melon not as exciting as calling New York - but I like to feel I'm doing my little bit Zoe **UPDATE**** They only hold old copies going back 20 years on site so I'm afraid I'm a dead end for now - sorry everyone ;o(