Genealogy Chat

If he is frail or ill his family will censor the information but do give him the chance to know about this. As I said before my dad would have been so pleased if it had been him. So often in his last few months he would sit there naming people who he once knew so well when he was young and wondering and pondering what had become of them. I tried all the forces reunited sites for him but I guess they had already gone - after all dad was 91. What joy it would have given him to have found just one person he remembered as a young man in those war years. Or even to have to have just learnt about them albeit that they had gone.

Good luck with the phone call. I think that is the right thing to do. Deb - (Awaiting the outcome with bated breath)

Olde Crone I couldnt agree more

Well! I have been working all day, so only just caught up with the latest developments. Normally, I am ultra-cautious about approaching people about their past and always feel that slow is better than quick. But for once, I dont feel that - this gentleman is 86 and time is on no-one's side here. He may be senile, he may even be dead, he may be aware of Herta's fate and not care anymore - but please dont lets consider treating him like a child. He has an absolute right to know about this, after all, everyone who read that local paper knows about it, and so do we. It is insulting to say that he should be protected from any hurt - I suspect this man has been through more than any of us, but let those who know him decide that. I do not think this is prying into an old man's love life, I think it is giving him the chance to know what happened to Herta, if he doesnt already, and to reclaim his letters.It would be absolutely unforgiveable if we, who know, decided not to pass on this information - how dare any of us decide what is best for a stranger? I shall be on here tonight, to hear the outcome! Olde Crone

I believe from these thread that the Newspaper has actually asked for a copy of these threads to be send to them, as they would like to do a 'follow up story' We even joked about all the free publicity genes would get.....as a after thought, when my sister and I were sorting my dear late mum's things out. in her underwear drawer were a rather large bundle of letters, written by her fiancée who died in 1942, she later married my dear old dad. the point is, my mum had kept these letters for over 60 years, even though she was married and had 'moved on' with her life, she still had a place in her heart for her first fianc'ee....my sister even has the engagement ring!!! .......Lilly

Athena I still think it would be good manners and ettiquette to speak to the newspaper and the archives first. Are they aware of how far you have got with your discoveries? Have you given them a chance of approaching Mr Boley themselves? Please don't sacrifice an old man's feelings for the sake of a bit of glory for yourself

Patrick Ive missed the boat twice not getting in touch with someone straight away and they took their information to the grave, I missed contact with them by a couple of weeks, to be told later on they would have been so pleased to have made contact! One would assume that youve never had this problem, lucky you! Having read the thread it is being handled with care and a great deal of thought, all of us need a little encouragement even when we know we are doing the correct thing. Perhaps its fate...and the two need to be brought together.

Yes, thats correct, Lambeth can hardly refuse to return someones personal belongings can they.

Lily, How do you know this gentleman won't be upset. Do you know him ? This really is farcical . Not an iota of thought has been put into this. The words ' Bull ' and ' China Shop ' leap to mind

Jeanette - we may not possess the suitcase ourselves but we know who has it. And since they have no intention of following this up, we have. If this call should prove to be the right family then my main aim is to give them contact details of the Lambeth Archives so that they can, if they so wish, follow it up with them and find out if there is a way of having some, if not all, of the personal things returned (at least those pertaining to Mr Boley). I suppose you could say we are acting as go-betweens - from one neighbour to another, putting them in the know so they can decide what to do. I'm not interested in poking my nose into their personal life or past. We've learnt enough about that through the Press coverage and all I would like is to know that if Heinz is out there that he is made aware of it all - I feel it's his right to know. That was all.

Again, good points Patrick - but in the case of an 86 year old a few weeks may matter a great deal.

Lilly Yes I believe Carol has spoken to the newpaper and someone has contacted the archives, but I don't think either are aware of how far this has been taken.

Athena, You ask if I am reading your replies. Are you reading mine ? I state that it is right that the possessions should be reunited. I simply feel that the way you are going about it is improper. You must however do what you feel is right. Write to the children, it has been 60 plus years, another few weeks will make no difference. I am sorry that my comments are regarded as negative. I am simply drawing from my own Father's experience. A complete stranger ringing you up to enquire about your love life 60 years ago. It beggars belief , it really does .

correct me if I am wrong......but I believe Carol is actually in touch with the Local Newspaper and a GR member is/ has been in touch with Lambeth Archives, and Southwark local studies and they are all in support of bringing this to a happy conclusion .....Lilly

hiya'll, i too have followed this thread from the beginning, I also believe that what is happening is the right thing to do, regarding phoning the family, IF this is the same Mr. Boley, he has a right to his own belongings. I personally dont see anything wrong in this course of action, afterall, its no different as someone scanning e-bay for family bibles and attempting to return them to the rightful owners, I shall be following with interest, well done to everyone!!!! (and to think the archives think its a closed matter with the death of Herta, this astounds me, did they not think about Heinz????) Good luck Julie

Jeanette does have a point which crossed my mind too - are Lambeth willing to give these things up to someone? (They didnt sound over interested in their email did they!) I do hope so, but what with all the pc bureacracy nowdays - will it be that simple? We dont want to offer what we cant give - mm, some thought on that one. Some thought needed, but it would be really tough to let an opportunity to reunite them pass us by.

Are you actually reading our replies, Patrick? There will be no slamming of the phone down by an 86 year old man because as I said before - I will NOT be speaking directly with him. I think you are not giving enough credit to elderly people. I have an 85 yr old aunt who still has all her marbles and I know for a fact that if she knew that somewhere out there was a bundle of her private letters and photos to an old sweetheart, she would want to be told, no matter how sad that past experience was. She'd be horrified to learn they were in the hands of complete strangers!! I find it incredible that you think it wrong to return someone's belongings to them or at least let them decide what is to be done with them. We shall just have to disagree on this one, I think. To everyone else - thanks for your support and I will let you all know how I get on. I may not have much to report back, but I will definitely give it a go.

But are you really putting alot of thought into the way this is being handled? You are not the ones in posession of the suitcase, and you did not write the article........you only read the story in a newspaper.

I did suggest w.....a....y down the thread that maybe the Newspaper might ring this gentleman, but having said that I will be watching at midnight 'just in case' you have made contact, and no, I don't think Heniz will be upset, it happen a long time a go, and time does heal....I think as long as you are careful, which it sounds as if you will be.....then go for it...Heniz's family has the choice to say no, if they think he couldn't cope with it....the very best of luck,........Lilly

Patrick This site is called Genes Reunited so I imagine most post is about reuniting with people or trying to find the long lost, so what's the problem, we are not asking you to do anything. My Grandmother was murdered and without the help and messages from people on here, I would never have found the relatives and friends I have made contact with, they have been so helpful coming up with names addresses ect, I have written to papers and magazines in my search and didn't really get anywhere it's taken me 30years to get to where I am today. We are not intending to just blurt out about this we are going to be more sensitive that that as you can see. Carol