Genealogy Chat

Does anyone else feel like Patrick, that it's an invasion of one's privacy! as I started all this off and the Newspaper in question asked if anyone knew what had happened to Herta, do you find this disgraceful, because I don't.

Patrick You are, of course entitled to your views. But the majority of us on this thread see this as uniting personal belongings to the rightful owner, or at least making them aware that these things exist. Imagine if you had been separated from a loved one - and a lifetime later you discovered that your letters and photos had survived and were in the possession of a stranger and being written about in the newspaper - I think you would want to know about it, wouldn't you? For all you know, that man may have spent the majority of his life wondering what happened to his fiancee. Wouldn't it be terrible if he went to his grave never knowing the truth - never knowing that she kept all his letters and photos - and what happened to her? And, as I have said on a previous thread, I will NOT be asking lots of personal, interrogating, questions. I will simply be explaining in brief about the newspaper article and that we are searching for any connections to Heinz Boley. I will NOT be speaking directly with the elderly gentleman himself but one of his family members and I will leave it to them if they wish to tell him about it or not. Yes, we are researching the dead most of the time, but often this leads us down the path of the living, too, making connections and bringing people together. It's not all about dead people. For all we know, Heinz may no longer be living - but if he is I bet that he would love to know that Herta's story has touched the hearts of so many of us today.

No carol i think its one of those mysterys that would be nice to solve, and i dont mean to be personal Patrick considering you posted a message the other day regarding a death for this year and added the persons name dont you think its a bit like the pot calling the kettle black!! rant over

Of course Heinz may well have been aware that she had died. All the more reason to let him have her belongings. If he for any reasons dosen't want them then of course they ought to go to an archive recording the fate of this young girl during the war. It is still an interesting story fromWW2. Pauline

Carol/Athena You go ahead - you are asking the people if this is their property and do they want it returning - that's all, in its simplest form. I'm sure if it's the right person they will be most grateful you have taken the trouble to find them. How many times has there been write-ups in newspapers about this sort of thing and the outcome is always the same - people are glad to know why certain things happened. Just imagine if he's sat there nursing a broken heart all these years (and yes, we all know he got on and made another life for himself) now he'll know it wasn't because she didn't love him and I'm sure he'll treasure the letters, photos etc. Don't be put off by one person. If you feel it's right - do it!! Snowdrops

I don't find it disgraceful, I think at that age most elderly people take things like this in their stride, in fact even enjoy it. I agree it would be a good idea to speak to the younger Boley's. I would imagine they would certainly have an e-mail address as the internet has been free there for a number of years. Maybe Athena could e-mail them the link to the story before they speak to him so they can get a gist of it in black and white. Then they can decide wether he is up to it. If he is the right gentleman he has obviously got on with his life nd has his own family. I also agree it would be a good idea to ask if he knows of any living relatives of Herta. They have as much right to these possessions as anyone. Does have anyone have access to past electral rolls to see if Cilla Urman had family? Genes will probably be overloaded at midnight ...... will be so slow!! Good Luck Yvonne

If you feel it is appropriate to telephone an 86 year old man and ask him to revisit memories of 60 odd years , open old wounds , remind him of dreadful times, then you are of course free to do so. You are embarking upon a very dangerous mission. Do not be surprised if he slams the phone down. My father's 1st wife went missing during the war. He went on to marry my Mother, and would never discuss the matter. I urge extreme caution.

Hi Carol I've been following this story and have been amazed at what you've uncovered. You have just asked if anyone else feels like Patrick, so I thought I'd add my opinion for what it's worth! No, I don't feel exactly like Patrick, but I think you should be very careful with the way you proceed. I would have thought that the people to ring Mr Boley should be the newspaper......if they are interested. If they are not, then a carefully worded letter to Mr Boley explaining how you read about this story and the things you have discovered. Put yourself in Mr Boley's shoes......would you want a total stranger ringing you at home telling you how they'd been digging around in your private life? It may sound better coming from an organization such as a newspaper. Jeanette x

Just wishing you Good Luck xxxx I've nothing to add to the search but have kept looking on this thread to keep updated. I dont think i'll sleep tonight! I wish you all the success ~ these belongings deserve to go home. xx Jen

Patrick, I think you are missing the point here. Contact WILL NOT be made direct to the gentleman concerned. His children will be put in the picture and they will then ask him gentle questions to see if the right gentleman has been found. That is all - no hounding of a frail old gentleman - just an enquiry. Snowdrops

I have followed this from the start and feel strongly that the belongings should go 'home' to someone who loved Herta, and that he has a right to know they exist. Please do not be put off by someone who clearly feels otherwise. I think he would surely be in the minority. It is absolutley right that if this is Heinz that he is at least told of the existance of of this suitcase and given the choice of whether he wants it or not. I know that this will be done with sensitivity and care, and there will be no intrusion into his privacy. As far as I can see, all those who have been involved in this have considered carefully each step they have taken It is because you care so deeply for people that you are doing this, so ignore the negative comment left by a previous poster. Good luck Mandy XX

I agree it is right and proper to return the possessions, but at least write to the children first. You might give the poor old man a heart attack just ringing out of the blue.

I think the plan is to phone the children in the first instance not him, they are well aware of the impact this may have.

I think you will see Patrick that people are putting a lot of thought in the best way to handle this. And the old chap (for all we know he isnt even the right man) wont be contacted direct but through relatives. I cant help thinking about my own dad who died aged 91 last October and he would have been over the moon to be contacted about this had it been him. I do understand what you mean - but what a terrible shame if this is the right man and he dies not knowing about this. And what if he knows of surviving sisters, brothers or great nephews/nieces of Hertha who would love to have these letters? Better than them laying in Lambeth archives until they are forgotten again.

Patrick This site is called Genes Reunited so I imagine most post is about reuniting with people or trying to find the long lost, so what's the problem, we are not asking you to do anything. My Grandmother was murdered and without the help and messages from people on here, I would never have found the relatives and friends I have made contact with, they have been so helpful coming up with names addresses ect, I have written to papers and magazines in my search and didn't really get anywhere it's taken me 30years to get to where I am today. We are not intending to just blurt out about this we are going to be more sensitive that that as you can see. Carol

I did suggest w.....a....y down the thread that maybe the Newspaper might ring this gentleman, but having said that I will be watching at midnight 'just in case' you have made contact, and no, I don't think Heniz will be upset, it happen a long time a go, and time does heal....I think as long as you are careful, which it sounds as if you will be.....then go for it...Heniz's family has the choice to say no, if they think he couldn't cope with it....the very best of luck,........Lilly

But are you really putting alot of thought into the way this is being handled? You are not the ones in posession of the suitcase, and you did not write the article........you only read the story in a newspaper.

Are you actually reading our replies, Patrick? There will be no slamming of the phone down by an 86 year old man because as I said before - I will NOT be speaking directly with him. I think you are not giving enough credit to elderly people. I have an 85 yr old aunt who still has all her marbles and I know for a fact that if she knew that somewhere out there was a bundle of her private letters and photos to an old sweetheart, she would want to be told, no matter how sad that past experience was. She'd be horrified to learn they were in the hands of complete strangers!! I find it incredible that you think it wrong to return someone's belongings to them or at least let them decide what is to be done with them. We shall just have to disagree on this one, I think. To everyone else - thanks for your support and I will let you all know how I get on. I may not have much to report back, but I will definitely give it a go.

Jeanette does have a point which crossed my mind too - are Lambeth willing to give these things up to someone? (They didnt sound over interested in their email did they!) I do hope so, but what with all the pc bureacracy nowdays - will it be that simple? We dont want to offer what we cant give - mm, some thought on that one. Some thought needed, but it would be really tough to let an opportunity to reunite them pass us by.

hiya'll, i too have followed this thread from the beginning, I also believe that what is happening is the right thing to do, regarding phoning the family, IF this is the same Mr. Boley, he has a right to his own belongings. I personally dont see anything wrong in this course of action, afterall, its no different as someone scanning e-bay for family bibles and attempting to return them to the rightful owners, I shall be following with interest, well done to everyone!!!! (and to think the archives think its a closed matter with the death of Herta, this astounds me, did they not think about Heinz????) Good luck Julie