Genealogy Chat

What are you lot like?! Heather, I guess your FTM fivers have run out then? Need to fill your knickers again? - sorry I'll rephrase that - Need to supplement your income again? I'll sign up - I'll try the advanced with OC if I may though - I'm still managing to get on here despite the calls of 3 children & a husband that can never find ANYthing (I think it's an innate male trait!) Sarah :-) He's French & watching the footie right now so I'm not about to get kicked off the puter!

Oh Glen, that's the trouble with this hobby which is sometimes forgotten - we're researching real people with real lives. These people had it really tough, child mortality rates were incredably high. Just because these families had 10+ children, doesn't mean that they didn't love every single one of them. Inscriptions I've read on headstones bear testiment to this. An example - 'Only death could take away her grief' - at least 5 of her 16 children predeceased her. Emotions can really catch you off guard sometimes. I hope you didn't mind the joke earlier, I just couldn't resist that one. Hope you're sitting comfortably!!! Rachelxx

I can see Old Crone can definitely skip level 1 and 2 - those points are all covered in the Advanced level. (Except the sling job - I would discourage this as it could induce sympathetic people to actually walk through the front door). An addendum to the Mr Sheen polish scam - DO NOT get carried away and spray into the air above wooden flooring - I did do this in my early days before I formulated my course and it can lead to OH/pets/kids/visitors ending up on their ******. Certainly the hangers on the line is one of my favourites - and dont forget the same hangers and clothes can be utilitised for weeks at a time. I hope you have all discovered the delights of Dettol floor cleaner - this requires no buckets, no water, no lifting or drying - you simply squirt on kitchen floor, rub the mop over it a bit and the place smells like a hospital operating theatre. Ditto for laminate floors - Mr Sheens orange floor spray. As we are now getting into the realms of me losing money on my course - I shant give much else away except, a pile of freshly laundered and folded fluffy towels on the third step of your stairs is also a must have.

Heather You forgot Keep a slightly grubby sling by the front door and dont forget to pop it on for unexpected callers. (Right arm, of course, if you are right-handed). If its a neighbour or someone who knows you well, you will have to improvise a bit by saying, I've had such a terrible pain in my arm for WEEKS now and as I dont want to make a fuss/alarm my family, I only wear it when no-one is home. With a bit of luck, they will get to with the hoover or the washing up. If you live alone, like me, always eat over the sink - saves dirtying a plate. Use the same coffee mug all day, giving it a quick rinse under the cold tap when need be. Make the children eat in the garden - tell them its a picnic, they will be thrilled. Hang wet clothes out on coat hangers - less ironing and the neighbours will be dead impressed that you are so fussy about drying your laundry. Invest in dark, slate coloured tiles for the kitchen floor - you can get away with not cleaning it until you and your beloveds start sticking to it. And finally, if you are unfortunate enough to get caught red-handed on the pooter, shout indignantly, Ive only just this minute come on here, you'd would think I was on here all day every day, who do you think does all the washing/cleaning/ironing around here, and you grudge me 5 minutes relaxation. OC

Heather, Tip 2 and 7 really good and duly noted, but what's a hoover?

Oh, nearly forgot - on the advanced course, all students will be supplied with emergency trip wires for advanced knowledge of the OH arriving home unexpectantly. This safety measure can be supplemented with flashing lights attached to the top of the pc and in extreme cases (long drives, etc) a siren. (These are extras and not included in the course fee)

I have to say Merry, its quite clear that you are only an intermediate in my 'Housewifery for Anoraks Course' You omitted 1. Plug in the hoover and have it on display in the middle of the hallway so that if the postman/delivery/neighbour etc calls, they have disturbed you in the middle of your work. They feel guilty, you dont. 2. Fill the washing up sink with plenty of foaming water - its expensive but I recommend Fairy Liquid. 3. Pour bleach down the loo and spray the shower door with Mr Muscle - thats the bathroom done. 4. You did in fact get points for spraying Mr Sheen in every room but you forgot to keep it handy by the door to give it a squirt if anyone knocks. 5. Put make up on first thing in the morning, because you wont do it at any other time in the day. 6. When you take the dog in the garden for a pee, exclaim loudly 'Hurry up Ralph (insert pet name here), Ive got to clean the windows now' (Of course, you dont - but the neighbours will imagine thats what you are doing). 7. Always have a pile of washing in the washing machine. You dont actually get round to getting it out, but the sound of the machine going round (put it on the longest cycle) will confuse callers. 8. If the living room is REALLY bad, and someone visits unexpectedly, quickly put the cushions and back cushions on the floor like you are giving the room a proper good topping and they have interupted you. 9. Bleach in the sink in the kitchen - smells clean. 10. Sweep the front door step - this is essential - as its the first thing peeps see and will assume the rest of the house has also been cleaned or is about to be cleaned. Anyone who enrols this month will be given a free Can of Mr Sheen and a very clean soft cloth, both for the purpose of Item No. 4. Do not forget that when you OPEN the door to callers, you have these items in either hand and look slightly flustered as they have disturbed you. I have to say that I would be more than pleased to have Olde Crone on the course as she has already skipped a level by using the old ' Ive been on night shift' scam. This can be even more effective if you actually have one of those nurses fob watches that connects to your cardi - the caller will feel that they have disturbed one of the National Healths 'angels' and will feel particularly guilty about doing so.

Totally off topic everyone but I'm an absolute wreck. Spent an hour or two watching The Green Mile on dvd and then had a reply to some burial lookups. I can now see where ten of one line are buried,aunts,uncles,grandfather and g g/father all in one cemetary in Lincoln and a couple in another.Most are infants,i have an uncle buried over 100 years ago,aged just two months. Please don't ever watch that film then look at burials,i'm crying like a baby. Glen

Tips for a geneaholic housewife, or househusband [musn't be sexist] so that more time can be spent behind the computer: 1. Spray Pledge [or is it Mr. Sheene now] around the living room and hall. 2. Throw all untidy objects [not the hubby or the cat] into a cupboard/ behind the sofa/ under the bed. 3. When these places get a bit full, pile all junk up in a corner, cover with an artistic 'throw' [ie. bit of old curtain] and [carefully] balance a potted plant on top to make a 'feature'. 4. Bathroom and loo next: squirt a bit of bleach in the loo, ditto in the bath; give taps a quick polish with damp cloth RESULT: an impressively tidy, clean and freshly-smelling house. Lots of time left to go trawling through the BMD index. And if you think I'm joking, you should see my place!!

Just got back from exhausting shopping trip, reading this thread has totally cheered me up. Feel almost normal now too! Nice to know that I am not the only one with what I now call my illness, sometimes I wish I could take pills for it so that I would be cured.....I used to be seriously houseproud.....now nothing gets done, washing remains unironed and homecooking is a thing of the past! I now think of the quickest way to get things done, so that I can get on the computer and get my daily fix.....What an anorak I have turned into!! Fuzzy x

Mr friend Linda and myself always discuss what research we have managed when we go on our weekly 'Walking for Health' She also said someone she knew had just found 'Religion' and would keep going on about it. Then we realized others must think the same about us and our 'Religion'! Pauline

Blimey must be by now. The trouble with tinsel is that bits keep falling off the older it gets and it all ends up rather bald!!!!!!!

Rachel........Only if I was blindfolded and he was a long way away! Do you think the tinsel is tarnished yet?? Merry

Andrea - you described the situation perfectly! You lot have made me laugh out loud today - thanks! TGx

Merry - Would you have preferred if Glen had dropped his tinsel knickers instead of his turnips? Oh dear, perhaps I should have phrased that slightly differently. Oops!

Now that I having to use church records this hobby is becomeing a little slower. I have had tremendous help from the Bedfordshire records office and am hoping that similar record offices will be as accommodating. My one sheet of paper kept neatly in a folder is a thing of past memory. I have now comandeered a whole filing cabinet, the computer, pens, pencils, in fact anything that is of use. We are going on broadband as from 28th because him in doors leeps complaining that he is unable to use the phone. Oh dear what a shame!!!!!!! The way to do it is to be forceful, let nowt get in the way, tell him he must get his own tea/coffee/dinner/ironing etc. etc. I was a neat brunette when I started, I am now a delightful shade of platinum, (well its grey, but platinum sound sexxier) Kathlyn

Hi Merry The Scottish Borders Turnip famine meant i got a good price (exchanged for three certificates per turnip no less!!!) Perhaps the thread title should read 'This hobby has bankrupted me!!! Glen

Oh I had the house all tidy until the children came home from school and messed it up again, I also heve a mountain of ironing to do!, buy your children non iron clothes and tell your husband it takes at least 15 mins to iron a shirt ( for some reason they don't question this) thenyou can make up a story of you have been ironing all day. Yes I am an addict too_____ Caroline

ooooh Glen, I only just noticed your turnips have permanently gone!! lol Merry

It is infectious this addiction. My 83 year old mother phones me up everyday for an update on her relatives-never mind how the the grandchildren are...