Genealogy Chat

I have boys 8 and 10 and what ever i do there is always a wet dog smell, i also have a potty training toddler so have given up on callers any way ive just trained the dog to bark a lot when someone calls Caro;ine

Serious now....people who have an obsession, be it good or bad, live longer and stay mentally alert longer. OC

Oh, Jean's reminded me.... What the heck does PMSL mean??? I see it every so often - don't have a clue what it is & when it's been mentioned on 'shortenings' threads no one seems to want to come clean..... tell me tell me please BTW it's so I can say OMG, LOL ! ! (see, I do know some of them!) Sarah :-) UPDATE - couldn't wait & posted a separate thread with this question - I know now!!

Dont they also get arrested quite a lot, Olde Crone?!

Oh yes, they do Heather ...I'm hoping for a nice open prison with the very latest in computers.... OC

Just think OC, in a century or two some of your descendants might be getting really excited when they're thumbing through the archives and find out what scandalous things their ancestor got up to...

I never clean apart from load the dishwasher and change the sheets etc on the bed and do the laundry. Basic housework is done by a cleaner that I have for 3 hrs a week. Works wonders.

Glad to see I am not alone! I switch on computer as soon as I wake - while it's waking up, go and feed the cat and make cup of tea. Let cat out, rush upstairs - log on here. 1 hour later - rush into bathroom - shower - get dressed - have breakfast - out to work (thank goodness it's only a 2 minute walk away!) Once a week have to drive OH to work - drat, drat, double drat - less time on here. Back from work - let cat back in - switch on computer - any more messages - deal with those. Dinner - what's that? Study - well if I must ( and I should, essay due next week) Eventually, eyelids tell me time for bed. You'll note - no housework mentioned. Another addict owns up.

Look at the time I have just put on the washing, had a shower, cleaned the bathroom made the childrens breakfast, swept the floors and duly washed them, hoovered and dusted upstairs and taken the dog for a walk.........Oh ok then I have been up an hour and intended to do all those things, but I just had to check first if I could find something on ancestry......yep still sitting here!!! Thanks to Heather for the fantastic housework tips.....when can I sign on for the course? think I would go in at the beginners level I obviously have a lot to learn! Fuzzy x

A vase of fresh flowers works wonders for convincing everyone that the house has been thoroughly cleaned. Don't forget to throw them away when they are dead tho'.

Jennie, the flowers are always a good idea - but if you do forget to chuck them out when they are dead, when a visitors eyes graviate to them, you walk over to them (NEVER ignore hot spots - front up to them - only the guilty ignore), touch the vase lovingly and gently and say 'My son(enter any suitable relative at this point) sent me these, bless him, I cant bear to throw them out'. Sorted. And lets all praise the lord for the hosepipe ban - filthy car in the drive - using the front up, not back down method - 'Bloody hose pipe ban, look how filthy my car is, I took it to a drive in wash but even that was banned. Oh well, I suppose it wont go on forever'.

My tip involve your children as much as possibe especially at awkward momments. It is half past seven. Do you want to use the bathroom before I have a bath. Could you bring down your dirty clothes so I can wash them. It is a lovely day for putting them on the line? Do ypu think you could put all your guitar bits/computer bits on the bed so I can vacumn? This produces one of four reactions.. 1. Don't bother I'll do it myself . Problem solved. 2. Nothing done (perfect alibi). 3. Washing downstairs - five minutes to put in washing machine. It can then be left on the line as proof of housewifely duties done Vacumning five minues. . 4. You're so lazy. Why can't you do it. (true). Time for righteous indignation. Why is it my job. You are six, sixteen, twenty-six.. I didn't marry the house.

Special help and advice needed for those of us whose husbands have retired. I've been caught out sitting here with a duster in my hand and also with the vacuum cleaner switched on.. Heather

Talking of kids - another good tip re COBWEBS if you have student children OR children in their teens/20s/30s/40s/50s/ - OR possibly an OH who looks a gentle/ageing hippy type. If areas of your house resemble Debenham's Christmas Grotto due to unabated spider activity - and a visitor is fighting their way through the strands - you shake your head in a world weary way and comment 'Its been like this since xxxxxxxxxxxx converted to Buddhism' and then sigh. Oh and that is also a useful excuse for quickly lighting a joss stick when someone knocks at the door. Get the stronger essence ones - its worth the extra cost - all ciggie/dog/cat/non-emptied kitchen bins smells are masked immediately.

Heather - in your particular case - hopefully old man is of non computer techi type. In which case you revert to the 'use of OH lack of computer knowledge' process. Hoover on, duster in hand, you at computer yes? He walks in - I hope you have mastered the minimising technique - you look at him in a panicky wide eyed way - ' Help! I was just hoovering and the speakers on this alerted me to a worm invasion - have you any idea how to erradicate them?' If, unfortunately he has retired from being Head of IT at Microsoft then you should really invest in at least one of the advanced warning devices mentioned earlier.

My husband has retired too, but through ill health. He has been out of hospital for 6 weeks after 5 months as a patient. (Spinal Op). He is, at the moment, wheelchair bound but has started to walk with a zimmer. The point of me telling you this is that he cannot get upstairs yet. So, I can get away with not cleaning up there. Dont do my daughters bedroom anyway, thats her problem she is 19. The bathroom is clean, mostly. Has to be hygenic doesnt it. Downstairs, he has the front room as a bedroom at the moment. There is so much stuff in there, bed, wheelchair, computer (for his use I have my laptop), TV etc, there is no room to do much cleaning. He doesnt come into the kitchen as their is a step down into it. So, as I have laminate floors and a ceramic one in the kitchen its a quick run round with a duster mop thingy. Have a dishwasher anyway. He did comment on the dust on the surfaces the other week, cheeky b****r, I'll have to teach him to walk one handed with a zimmer and a duster on the other. My excuse? Dont have time to dust, too busy looking after you!! Margaret

Thanks Heather, all ideas gratefully received. Heather

Margaret, well make the most of it, but I think you need to master some of the advanced techniques in preparation for his full recovery. Meanwhile, as he is so dust conscious - have you seen those little Mr Sheen feathery dusters you fix to an extending pole thing? He wouldnt even need to move from his zimmer to use it. You could bring it home and tell him that you have been asked to take part in a market survey to check its effectiveness - hand him the pole, give him the box of duster things and ask him to write a comprehensive report on their effectiveness. That should keep him busy for a couple of hours a day.

Heather I've got one of those, I have showed him how it works, but all he said was that his computer screen was dusty and could I use it on that. LOL I must admit I just have a blitz on the dreaded house**** word once a week. I do do the tumble dryer thing to save on ironing, trouble is he shouts out 'why have you got the dryer on when its a lovely sunny day?' Think I'm going to have to have one of those blitz days today. OUCH Heather stop hitting me, I didnt swear did I? Margaret

Spray polish on the lightbulb - when light is switched on, heat activates smell, seems like you've spent all day polishing. Learned this at my mother's knee (shows what an intelligent family I'm descended from)!