Genealogy Chat

I think it's hard when it's a friend - but I think you have to say that you've bought the first few - she needs to get the rest for herself. (Easy to tell someone else what to do!) Christine

Oh Bless you Glen Just tell her yu got lucky with the other branches of her tree, you dont mind doing it, but she will need to pay for the 3 certs to get the ball rolling??? Rebecca x

Glen That was very kind of you to do that for your friend we do enjoy it though don't we. But I would ask your friend for the money for the certificates.

Had another e-mail with some more names and 'who are the parents and siblings of xxxxxx,how many children did they have and when,who are the parents of yyyy,siblings and partner/children please' Sent a reply with the three bmd refs to get the certs for the other lot,had an instant reply asking why won't i order them!!!! Sent a reply with the gro url and guide to order certs,but she won't have it. Sent a final reply,'sorry you NEED these to go any further,the cost is £21 with the numbers quoted,then you will need another 2 marriage certs after i have spent hours looking for the numbers. Not heard a peep since. Glen

Ah well, then, Glen, that's your answer really - sadly, like lots of people she wants an instant tree which won't cost her anything. OC

Well done Glen for standing your ground. She'll come round when she realises it's the only way she's going to find out what she wants to know. What a good friend you've been!

She needs a different gardener then!! Just bugs me that everything was sooo easy to find,all the refs were on freebmd. More like a 'can't look,won't look' attitude. Her loss and not mine,after all both she and her hubby are working so the cost of a few certs shouldn't be too much of a problem. Glen

people want something for nothing nowadays but it just doesn't happen Nicola

Glen I have to say that I think this is really sad. Part of the fun of this hobby for me is ordering the certs and seeing the information in black and white. If you have done all of the background work for them for free!!! (well plus a bit of your own money!) and then they cant be bothered to take if further, then they cant be that serious about finding any information at all! Claire

Glen Have you actually asked her point blank why she expects you to pay up? I wouldn't be so nice about it, I'd tell her she was a bl***y cheeky mare, or possibly stronger words than that.

I keep being offered the money,it always seems to dissappear when she calls for the next set of results. I think she has the misconception that a couple of mouse clicks brings everything to you in one go,foc and without any problems. When she replies to an e-mail she always clicks 'reply all'adds a couple of words and i get to read my 20 line message again.,call me strange but i think that is just plain rude. I'll stick with everyone on here,at least when someone sends a pm expressing pleasure with a local issued cert courtesy of my threads it feels like i have been useful. Glen

Here's a lesson for you Glen i-t-k; asked a cousin if I could have a copy of photo they have of the grandparents, because I don't seem to have one and I'm doing the family tree. This was the email from his son: 'Attached are small tiff files, not large enough for printing.There is considerably scratch repair and enhancement required to several pics....which can be done in house......i.e. by me, for a reasonable charge per print.' Please note the 'reasonable charge' Actually he was wrong, I got an acceptable print from the file he sent, so I thanked him profusely for sending it and said it was all that I needed!

OOh, Glen, I think that you have been taken for a bit of a ride. I take it that you have told your friend about the money that you have spent out? If no reimbursement is forthcoming, then even though you probably enjoyed doing it I know that I wouldn't be willing to do any more.

Well done Glen, Just remember - Help those who are trying to do it for themselves and enjoy the pleasure shared from your achievements. Dea x

I find it really weird that anyone can be so brazen as she appears to be! And it's sad that she deliberately cutting herself off from most of the fun, as well. I add my congrats on standing your ground. I know (as I said above) it's much easier to tell someone else to do something like that than to do it yourself! Christine

Well what do you think? After sending a concise but lengthy e-mail containing the ref numbers for the certs required,links to the GRO,Ancestry and freebmd,explanation of how to order the certs and how to search the bmd (she wants the kids from a 1902 marriage finding,'somewhere in the North East' (surname Gray!!),i had a two word reply. 'Oh thanks'. Kind of says it all really,don't you think? Glen

Just shows how much she has taken you for granted Glen. I would leave her to her own devices now. Ann glos

Oh Glen, I think you have done more than enough for this lady and if you ask me she sounds quite ungrateful. It's in her hands now and you have equipped her with everything she needs to continue - If she doesn't then that's up to her. Deb

She doesn't want a lot then! Sorry, I can be a sarcastic cow but I'd be inclined to go through one year of indexes copy out all the refs to Gray in the north east and tell her the only way she can discover which are hers is to order each certificate. Then I'd be inclined to say she will have to google the addy for the BMD ordering site as you've temporarily lost it. (The first hit is usually the .co one which charges upwards of £20 each)

Oh Glen this one needs to be told to take a run and jump!! I actually stopped coming on for quite a while for a similar reason, I'm always happy to help others on here (as someone said it gives a great buzz) but when they just keep coming back and coming back it takes the pee. I have answered threads for a scots peeps look up and ended up going off on a tangent with my credit card on fire then I have forwarded on more documents and info than the initial request was for only to come online the next day and see the same person post that they have found all this info but are now stuck on something and could someone do another lookup! This person has very obviously taken advantage of your good nature and kindness and now it needs to stop! I've only ever asked for 2 look ups and that was on Liz&Alicia's Bivri thread and even then I felt cheeky! Today I actually posted a thread asking for opinions and again felt I was troubling people. Stay Strong on this Glen. Shaz xx