Genealogy Chat

Ahh ok i see, thank you. Monty Iv tried to delete bernard from tree but it wont let me...Do you know how i delete him off please.

Do you mean you clicked the tick box to privatise your tree under My Account deatils, on the left panel?? If you did, then I don't blame you for thinking the names would be hidden.......but this is GR.......a site that never quite works how you might expect!! If someone is given permission to view your tree they will not be able to see Ross' father or anyone else aged under 120 and with no date of death on the tree. HOWEVER, if someone does a name search on the site, to see how many entries there are for a particular name, then the search name will still appear. In this case, if they typed in Ross' father's name they would get two matches with his year of birth, one in your tree and one in another......obviously, that wouldn't tell them who you are, but might make them very curious!! Merry

Hi there Thank you all for your advice, the reason i posted the information and circumstances on here was because after reading some posts above they mentioned that its difficult to give advice without knowing the circumstances involved, hence why i wrote it. I apologise as causing offence to anyone, and certainly any connections to ross's father. Ross is my fiance and knows exactly every word that is typed in here as he reads them when he arrives home each night. We are in this search togeather. I will delete ross's fathers name from our tree, as not to cause any hurt feelings. We apprieciate the advice thank you Tara

If you have put anyone in your tree without their direct consent, you need to delete them. GR categorically state that you MUST have permission from any living people before you put their names on the site. Reg

Tara you may like to give some thought to what Ross might feel if father has gone on and had a subsequent family ( which he went on to raise) How old is Ross? - I mean perhaps, how long ago did all this parting happen? jess x

GR's guidelines.............These apply not only to yourself, but to other living people..................... ''We would encourage you to think carefully before posting personal details on any of the public areas of our site. '' Imagine if someone who knows this man reads this thread................... Reg

You may need to consider what information you post about him on this public forum. You only need a friend/relation of his to read this and cause an upset, for your attempts to make contact to go all wrong (I'm not saying this IS what would happen.....just be careful) I see you have him on your family tree on GR which you mustn't do without his permission. He is also on someone elses tree too, so that person might wonder who you are!! It is hard to write this without sounding like I'm telling you off!! I don't mean to at all and wish you and Ross well in your search. I hope there's a happy reunion! Best of Luck Merry

I used a third party, Traceline, with a relative of mine. A fee is payable for the service and it is quite expensive but I found it easier that way because I was afraid of rejection. I googled and got the address and telephone number. They sent me a form to fill in. I completed this and returned it along with a letter address to the person I wished to contact. Luckily my relative wanted contact with me and everything turned out well. Traceline were very supportive. Regards, Jackie

Tara - dodging between boards here, see my answer on General board - and do be very careful if you put things in writing, remember other people can easily pick up and read something casually, not necessarily meaning to pry - other family may know nothing, tread carefully Eileen

I wouldn't phone as a letter would be easier for him to deal with. I would just say something like you are trying to find a Bernard who used to know a ....(give your fiance's mother's name) in such and such a year, and you wondered if he could be the right person. I wouldn't give too many details at first in case he has another family who know nothing of his past. Enclose a stamped addressed envelope for a reply and also give your telephone number and email address in case he wants to reply that way. Ask if he would at least return the envelope, even if he doesn't want to reply to you. At least that way you know that he has received the letter. Kath. x

Hi Tara, I might be wrong but you both sound quite young? I think it would depend on why you are trying to find him - I understand that possible rejection might be a problem but it really depends on what you hope to achieve. Perhaps a letter would be best initially but it is difficult to advise when I don't know the circumstances. Could you put up a little more information, or if not, you are welcome to p.m. me. I am no expert but would be willing to try to help. Dea x

Hi there My names Tara and myself and my fiance Ross are searching for his long lost father . Thanks to some very helpful people on here, who have helped us in our search, they have come up with some addresses and phone numbers to try. One in particular keeps popping up that could well be him. My dilemma is that ross has no idea what to say either in a letter to him or over the phone and has asked me to do it as he is anxious of rejection. So what do i say? How do i put the words? I am really at a loss with what to say......Can anyone help me please? All the best Tara x