Genealogy Chat

I have potentially found my Grandad, well one of his sons on facebook. Any suggestions what to put in a message, my mum wants to contact him but knows we only really have one chance to get it right and were unsure what to put ?

Thanks

Other people may have suggestions of what to write, but personally I wouldn't send a message via Facebook. If possible I think a letter would be a better option.

We arent sure on the address, this would've been our preferred option too. Thanks

I agree - a proper letter is the best way to do it.

However, if you've only found this person on Facebook, you won't know the address to send the letter to, so Facebook may be your only option.

You say you have "potentially" found one of his sons. I take it that means you're not sure if you've found the right person or not. I also assume you don't know if your grandfather is still alive or not?

I don't feel competent to suggest any wording - it's such a delicate situation.

But some thoughts:

We don't know the circumstances of why your Mum is not in contact with her father - perhaps she was adopted, or perhaps they became estranged. (I'm not asking - just giving possibilities.)

If she was adopted, does her father know of her existence?

Whether he does or not, he may not be interested in making contact.

Even if he does know about her, he may not have told his son, and may not want him to know.
If that's the case, you can hardly even ask the son if he's the son of (your grandfather's name), because, if he is, he would then want to know why you were asking.

Or the person you think is the son may not be the right person. (In which case, of course, it wouldn't matter, because he would just say "no", and that would be that!)
But you shouldn't give any personal details in a first approach, in case he's the wrong person.

Thank you

We are 99% certain we have found the right person but like you said the son may no know and we didnt want to cause upset. But on the other hand this is the only way to do it and we coule put it off forever.

Thanks for the advice

could you look in freelectrol roll for him

This may be the site Malyon means:

http://freeukelectoralroll.com/

However, unless the son has a very unusual name, or you have an idea of what town he lives in, you won't be able to tell which is the right entry.

If Facebook is your only option then I would contact the son and just ask if he is the son of .............(your grandfather's name).

If he asks why you are asking I would just say that you are doing some family history research and you think your families are connected (don't say how in the beginning).
Say you would like to write to his father to ask about the wider family and see if he is willing to either give you his father's address or pass on a message giving him your address. Just see how things go from there.

Kath. x

Thank you. We have now found him!!