Genealogy Chat

Hi folks

I've had a couple of pms from Margaret, and I gather that all concerned are somewhat shell-shocked at finding out the truth. D and his sister seem to be very understanding people, but had absolutely no knowledge that their mother may have had half-siblings.

The thing that Margaret is having to get to grips with is that D says his grandmother (Ada May, whom he knew as Margaret) was a wonderful person, a mediator, a reconciler, a peace-monger, a real star in her life. So Margaret is now wondering why she deserted her and her siblings. Well, I can only think she chose the wrong husband. 3 times the wrong husband. And Ada May was forced to leave her first family through no choice of her own.

A good woman as she seems to have been, wouldn't choose to leave her children. She must have had no choice.

Meg

It must be difficult to comes to terms with...

I agree with you Meg, not many mum's choose to leave their children behind. Some do of course, but at least Margaret will have the benefit now of D's memory and maybe that will help to round the picture Ada out a bit.

It's a mixed bag I guess the things you find, I hope Margaret is okay...

I do wish Margaret all the luck.
My mum in law and her 2 siblings were also deserted by their mother. She had also left another child , prior to meeting and having these 3 children. She left them one day in the house on their own and the eldest being 5 years old. She went off with another man and had then had another child.

Mum in law is now in contact with her half sister who we found last year. mum in law is 68 and never knew of this sister
We have not contacted the other brother.

Why this lady walked out on 2 different sets of children we will never know, but we do know that she kept in touch with the last born.
There was obviously a reason for this behaviour
we had a happy outcome to our search and I am sure Margaret will too.

Hello All

Today I have received photo's of my mother, Ada May. The mother I never knew ? I see a strong family likeness. I will never understand why she walked away, but Ada went on to marry and have a daughter and two grandchildren, who loved, and thought very highly of her.
Ada May never told her daughter and grandchildren, about her former family.

I would like to thank all of you, for time spent on my behalf, it's been a very emotional journey. Thank you all again and bless you.

Margaret x

Hello Margaret,

Just to say I am thinking of you and your new found family at what must be a very emotional time for you all.

I am so pleased you have contact and now have photos of your Mum, whilst it cannot make up for the years missed it must be somewhat of a comfort that she had a happy later life.

with love i x

Oh Margaret, I am so pleased you have the photos. D and his sister S are clearly nice people. As I have said to you in pms, your mother didn't walk away from you. Women generally don't do that. She must have had reasons that we will never know about. She suffered two babies dying almost after birth. Depression was likely. An undiagnosed and belittled condition in the 1940s. She didn't have much luck with her 3 husbands, the last one seemingly being the worst, there was no way she could get you and your siblings to join such a family.

I suspect she went to her grave regretting a great deal. From what her grandchildren, descendants of her and Fred Barker say, she was one lovely woman. Clearly a strong woman. Maybe like yourself. And she called herself Margaret in later years. I'd suggest she was a superb lady, I'm sorry you didn't know her.

She didn't leave you. She left the situation she was in.

Believe it, Margaret.

Love

Meg

Hi Margaret,

So glad that you now have some photo's, lots of hugs to you

Hello all

Thanks once again for all your kind thoughts.
I would never have done this with out you all. There is so much goodness out there........
I am so pleased that Madmeg advised me to re look at those certificates. as I would have missed out on ever finding Mother.
I still feel regret that Ada May never told her daughter about her former family,
but gain some comfort from the recognition from her grandchildren.

Thank you all......... I couldn't have done it without you.

Love you all
Margaret x

Margaret, maybe she is looking down on you now...look at all the positive things that have come as a result of yoru search.

Lots of hugs

Margaret... How wonderful for you..... I can't start to imagine how you must be feeling..... Enjoy.
Having googled Ada May I saw that people have been looking for her since 2000....... These wonderful people on here have managed to do this in 2 months.... AMAZING.... Well done to all.

Lots of love to Margaret.

Her mother was a good woman, it is clear.
She had tremendous problems in her relationships.
She had some awful decisions to make. She loved her grandkids, so she loved her kids too. That includes you Margaret.

Best wishes

Margaret, aka Madmeg.