Genealogy Chat

Well lets read my post.

Asked a question, " >>> If i was to go to the parish in Marylebone, would they have a record of the marriage?" gave the marriage info i had.

Reply's: The marriage info i gave already, then MargaretManson gave me extra info with the witness names. (and the birth of his daughter).

Thanked all that had responded

Then Joy (AKA Maid Marion and Joy Kentish Maid) asked if i would like a copy of the image. (reply: Oh Yes Please)

( JC)"You really should have told Joy to be off with her offers of unrelated information and records ..."

Sorry i thought the image of the parish record that Joy was offering was related to what i had asked.



(JC): "You surely did try to limit that one to"
"If i was to go to the parish in Marylebone, would they have a record of the marriage?" -- didn't you???

Sorry where on this thread have i asked for more info

EDIT: All on the same thread and all on the same date


Well i am happy with the response i got from GR and shall continue posting the same way as i have done for the past few years, and if anyone else who gets accused for "duplicate" postings wants to clarify what GR's rules are on THEIR guidelines, i am sure they can PM me for the answer

(Slyvia:)"You most certainly cannot claim that you were ignored and no-one tried to help you."

Where have i said i was ignored??

(Sylvia) "It may not have been what YOU wanted, but we tried
and never got thanked for anything, just abused by you."

The record Joy sent thru WAS what i wanted, it just did not contain the info regarding his name or parents that i thought a marriage record would have..

Sorry why would i thank you on this thread?, you didn't add to my post



(Sylvia) "That's because GR has different people who respond to questions, and sometimes they do not seem to be clear themselves on the meaning of rules and regulations."

What makes you think that you or anyone else know the rules better then?

I would rather have an email from the Site owners with what the guidelines mean than from a member who doesn't.

APC

I'm not talking about that post you and JC are talking about

I was talking about another post last week.


AND I never said that I myself had not been thanked ....... I would not expect to be thanked if I had not posted, now would I?

Please do try not to be so literal.


I made that remark because it was obvious that on that second thread you did not thank people for trying to help you ............. you just got mad because they were not giving you the information that you wanted and because you were told that it was a duplicate thread.


Now, it does seem apparent from the number of times that you have posted on this site and on others, that the exact information that you want is NOT available in the form that you want it.

especially as you seem unable to accept that the name is not Stookensmith, but is the Germanic spelling of Stuckenschmidt


........ and that the records do not have the extra little bit that you want.

Most often that is because the information was NOT requested at the time the events occurred! So it will not be on the relevant documents.


Repeatedly asking will not produce that information out of the ether

........... and unless you keep resurrecting an old thread OR providing all the information that you do have whenever you start a new thread .... you will continue to get the same information time and time again, as people do try to help you.


Equally obviously, you will also have people telling you again and again that you have posted a duplicate request, and that you already have the information.



It is always possible that at some date in the future there might be new information posted on the internet ............ records on the various sites are continually being updated.


My suggestion to you is that once every 6 months or so, you resurrect one of your OLD threads, one that contains as much information as has been found to date.

Change the title to read "Stookensmith / Stuckenschmidt ....... Update"

then add a new posting at the end of it to ask if there is anything new to be found.


That way, all the information will be to hand, no-one will go off trying to help you and re-creating all the work that has been done, and you MIGHT eventually get an answer.



That is only a suggestion ........ I hope it makes some sort of sense for you.


I am sincerely trying to help you here!



sylvia

I would rather have an email from the Site owners with what the guidelines mean than from a member who doesn't.

APC I take it then that you think it is okay to duplicate questions?

I agree that helpers should answer the question rather than just post information however sometimes finding additional information is a way of confirming the correct answer.

However, in regard to your question a yes or no answer would obviously have sufficed.

Have had an email from GR clarifying the board guidelines ( Don't submit the same – or similar – material more than once) so i am quite happy with their answer and shall continue posting the way i have done..

In fact i am pretty sure that on the previous "duplicate thread" , someone had mentioned it all depends on what is considered duplicate.


If anyone else who has been accused of duplicate posting would like to know what GR's meaning of this is then they can always PM me.

Thank you

oo'er APC

you edited a post, to add an extra item!


I didn't see that when I was replying to you

You added:-

"Sylvia) "That's because GR has different people who respond to questions, and sometimes they do not seem to be clear themselves on the meaning of rules and regulations."

What makes you think that you or anyone else know the rules better then?

I would rather have an email from the Site owners with what the guidelines mean than from a member who doesn't."





Please for heavens' sake, stop being so literal


I am NOT saying that I or any other members know the rules better than GR's own people


I am saying that one may well get different interpretations, even from site management depending on who answers the question.


and I am basing that on past experience from when I have asked a question! I got 2 quite different answers to the SAME request for advice re some problem!


It may even depend on whether you submit the question via Contact Us on the site OR whther you send an email from your own home address to GR's email address

OR possibly even whether you ask the question on the Facebook site.



sylvia

wellybobs

...who made out to be 'stoopid'


...started the whole 'handbags at dawn' all over ;)


!

However i sent the message doesn't matter, the only thing that matters to me is the answer i got back from GR clarifying the guideline.

So shall carry on posting just as i always have done.

Thanks for the chat ladies but off now as i have some more posting to do (under a different name of course, like the idea of name changing round here)

Please can we stop all this bickering,

This is supposed to be an enjoyable experience! None of us are perfect and none of us are all bad!
Someone like Cynthia has no axe to grind, doesn't do look-ups, just gently informs people that they have replies to their questions and points them in the right direction!

I have had people being rude to me when I have been trying to help but responding in kind doesn't do any good!

Please think about why people are searching for their roots? Sometimes it's because they've just lost someone they love.....or maybe they have just found out they have been adopted... so please go easy on them.

If you don't like the questions or the answers then don't respond. If none of us responded to a rude question or answer then they would disappear off the boards never to be seen again!

Please don't jump on me ....I might be feeling a bit delicate myself

Kind regards,

Cathy

Good post Cathy!

Cathy, I'm sorry, but I am fed to the back teeth with comments like this:

"If you don't like the questions or the answers then don't respond."

The entire point here, the problem of DUPLICATE THREADS, is that no one has any reason not to "like" a question that is a duplicate of another post UNTIL THEY REALIZE THE THREAD IS A DUPLICATE AND THEY HAVE ALREADY WASTED THEIR TIME.

If members don't alert other members to this problem when it arises, and/or explain the rules and reasons to violators, everyone who helps is exposed to the risk of wasting their time multiple times a day.

How am I supposed to know, when I look at a question about Jane Doe and her many husbands and children, that I don't "like" it because it's the fifth time it's been posted, unless someone lets me (and the poster in question) know??

Cathy, thank you for those few kind words :))


I understand the frustration caused to helpers by those who duplicate their posts but, criticising them in an abrupt and angry way does not help the harmony and fun of these boards and makes the helper look rather foolish at times.


Once it has been noticed that a post has been duplicated - often in innocence - then a helper only needs to inform their colleagues as soon as they spot it and politely let the poster know that it is unnecessary to keep posting.


If it is noticed that the same poster persists in duplicating their query then, as Catherine so rightly says, move on - even if you find it difficult to resist the temptation to respond.


Put the name of the 'perpetrator' into the little black books which I know some of you keep and leave it alone.


Time wasting can be very annoying, but blowing a gasket each time it happens, wastes even more precious ime in my humble opinon.....lol


Cx

You're very wecome Cynthia.....

I also think there's nothing wrong with us alerting each other to duplicate threads by adding the URL and possibly a few words of helpful guidance if you think it's a new person.
If it's a persistant offender then just add the URL and leave it at that...... please don't turn it into a slanging match which I've seen happen too many times!

Cathy

I agree Cathy

That's why I think a standardized friendly response would work. If everyone is saying the same thing it depersonalizes it and hopefully the slanging matches will cease

Whoops, I've just stumbled in and thought I would say my bit. I thought the other thread was helpful, interesting (not always to the point) and entertaining. Sorry not trying to deride anyone's views - lots of useful ideas.

I have to admit it's only in the last 12 months that I have really READ the rules properly. Gaining experience on the site is the key. I'm learning all the time due to many people on here.

I can only say thanks.

Hi, only just got back to this from yesterday.....

wow!! what did I start, I only asked what had happened to the original thread!!!!!

Hey Ginny, sorry about the handbags at dawn, it was not my intention believe me!!

Cynthia, I think that you and Cathy are excellent peacemakers and it looks like we need that right now, do you think the weather may be making us all crotchety ??(think thats how its spelt)
I don't think there will be agreement over duplicate threads and having watched this with interest all I would say now is:
"can we play nicely please"
take care. M.

Always better to make peace rather than war I reckon Wellybobs - although an argumentative thread does make entertainment for some of course :))

Never was a truer word spoken.
It was the potential for rising blood pressure I was getting anxious about lol:)

I am not even going to bother to read the middle bit of this lol, too long, too little time... but i would like to re-iterate a point I made earlier ( possibly on the other thread?) .

Many 'new' searchers ask questions, but don't exactly know the 'RIGHT' question to ask because they don't know ( as the more experienced helpers do) that there are records other than the BMDs and census that can also be of great help.

For example they may not know if 'Grandad Fred married or to whom?' , they can't find it on the BMDs because he has a common surname also, BUT they might know exactly where he was living in 1919 , what they MIGHTnot know and therefore cannot ask, is that the details of Fred and wife , and even actual marriage date and place, MAY be found on the images on the Military records for WW1

A helper might well bypass the "Can you tell me which Fred is mine on marriages on BMD?" and answer the 'unasked' question...'Can anyone find Fred's wife...anywhere?'

I wouldn't like to see only the exact question being answered, nor would I like to see the answer
" Might be on Military records...but you have to pay for those , here's the site addy...good luck'!

Not all the people searching can afford the time or the money, or have the experience to do it themselves, even if they want to. That is the BEST thing about these boards, that people are willing to help and use their own skills to help a stranger.