Genealogy Chat

Have been thinking (a phrase which makes my husband go pale).
Like everyone, I get fed up when people do not post replies on their threads, especially when a lot of trouble has been taken to help them. At the same time, I know a lot of new people have been PM'ing everyone! Perhaps as we have said before they think it is a Genes service and are waiting to be contacted - what do you think?
If the person is obviously new, maybe the first person to respond to a thread should mention what to do to post a reply, and if there is a big delay someone send a quick message. i know it seems a bit cumbersome, but maybe better than letting things go on with no feedback?
Jan

Ditto

Well, exactly. So to save a lot of annoyance, I think once we know how it works, we need to tell people if only to save our own sanity!!
Jan

I've had cases of PMing people to tell them there are replies on their thread, explaining how to access the thread and that it is good etiquette to thank everyone on the thread, and still nothing. I must admit I make a mental note of who they are and I don't help them again.

Fair enough.

Perhaps it is a good idea to tell them how to respond ........... that is if they know how to come back to their message in the first place!

I can't do much in the way of look ups so try to help those who have not replied to their threads by pm'ing them to say that there have been replies to their message and advising them as to how to find them.

99.9% of the replies I receive are from people who are new and didn't know how to get back to their message. They are apologetic, polite and grateful. I have not had one rude response to date.

Some are elderly and not very computer literate. (I help where I can)

A few have been forgetful. (Not much I can do there)

Many are waiting for a message to tell them about replies. (Sorry, that's not how GR works)

Several are struggling to work out how these boards work. (Take a look at the help menu)

Some are in a muddle as to where to start (Look for Heather's Tips for Newbies)

Plenty have wanted to share trees with me! (No thank you only with someone to whom you think you are related)

Several have been busy with other things. (Perhaps you should post a message when you have time to wait for replies)

Some have literacy problems. (I try and point them in the right direction)

Most have been astounded at your expertise and how quickly you reply.

Until there are better guidelines from GR, this problem will remain.

Good point, Cynthia. With a lot of family history sites (like Ancestry) - and even with sites for consumer reviews and social things like Facebook - it is set up so that, when somebody replies to your thread or leaves you a message or a comment, the site sends you an alert to let you know.

So I think if people are used to being alerted to replies (after all, there are a lot of people on Facebook and similar sites now) - and Genes won't bother to let users know that alerts aren't automatic - they might even think that they've had no responses at all to their query.

DEar all

I have to say I am probably amongst the worst at using the boards. I regard myself as an experienced researcher, and used to helping others, but when it comes to my own queries I often forget to check my threads (or forget how to find them), probably post them in the wrong place and get my knickers in a twist. And annoy those who are trying to help me. It is not deliberate, I just do get confused.

Pity that Genes don't listen to us.

Thanks to you all.

Margaret

I remember when I first used this site I spent a while just looking around. Reading threads, working out how the site worked, checking things before I posted anything. In those days I had to write down the number of the thread because the "My threads" button did not exist. I managed, as did lots of other people.

I have to assume that new people will do something similar. I realise that a lot of them just dive in and ask questions and I do get PMs from someone - sometimes weeks after I've tried to help - saying things like "Yes, she married a Paul ____ in 1910" What? Do I go and find the thread? If it pops up on the first page of My threads I might, but otherwise I am afraid I ignore it.

Surely the first thing on joining any new site is to suss out how it works? Just as surely the first thing you do when you want to start your family history is to borrow a book from the library to give you the first idea of what to do?

Harumph!

Jill

It is a never-ending problem that will never be solved.


Most of it does come down to the fact that GR does not tell people how the boards work, that they will not be told when there are responses on a thread, nor how to find a thread again.

I usually do a combination of things ......... send a pm to someone who has not returned to a thread telling them how to find it and how to post on it (if I think it is a very new member). I often c&p a pm onto the thread so everyone can see it, together with a note as to how to find and how to reply on the thread.

I get the same sort of pms as Jill .... and I'm afraid I also ignore them, unless the thread happens to still be on the first or second page of My Threads.



However, unlike Cynthia ............... I have had bad responses



More than once:- "who do you think you are telling me how to use this site?"


"keep your nose out of my business"


and once "I am NOTa new member so don't tell me what to do"!!!!





sylvia (who throws up her hands in disbelief and despair at times!)

Do you think changing my name might work?

PMs have been driving me crazy recently.

Portland Rose

roflol



I like it Portland Rose!!!


xxxxx

I saw a thread the other day thanking everyone for all the help she had been given.
I contacted her to tell her to put her thank you on her original thread because that is where those who helped will be looking and her new thread wont be seen by everyone.
She replied back to say how embarrassed she was that she had only just worked out the message boards and she wasnt a new member. She also wished there had been more instructions

This is a reply I received yesterday :

Name Subject Date Reply Delete Print
John Re: New message from Cynthia 17/07/2009 15:09:12
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Hello Cynthia

Thank you very much for your advice.This is the first time I have posted anything on the boards.I was expecting a reply to come up on my inbox.
Once again Thank you,I will now have a look to see what information I have received.
Best Wishes
John.


I think he will be okay from now on.



.......and then there was this which I received just now:

Violet Sylvia Jean Re: New message from Cynthia 18/07/2009 05:23:54
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I live in Canada therefore can't always pick up messages right away because of the eight hour time difference. Thankyou Vi



I have assured this lady that the time difference doesn't really affect things and that some of our most excellent researchers also live in Canada!


(Creep....lol)



There are probably some who have received my message but have not acknowledged it - but I don't feel bad about that because the ball is in their court so to speak. I've done my best to help them.

I try and be especially patient with those who seem to have literacy problems and post what seems to be gobbleydegook on the boards.




After 40 years of experience in the public sector, I guess I have learned never to 'assume' anything when it's to do with human nature! People are all so different and whilst some may assiduously read books and check how everything works before trying it out, others, full of enthusiasm, just jump in at the deep end.

When I first started on here, I was just so excited to see if I could find anything out about my family that I was a 'jumper'. I learned my lesson and now enjoy helping others not to make the mistakes I did.

As for reading family history books - I'm an avid reader but find these books incredibly heavy going for some reason. Probably I'm too impatient and just want to 'get on with it'!


Right, must get some work done. Will be back later to see if I have been shot down in flames!! :) :)

When I first joined GR, I was a complete novice at computers, typing and the proper use of this site.

I managed to get into one unholy row,because I infringed the rules (some of you may remember}

I can only apologise again, and wish that I had spent more time just looking around the site. It takes a lot to reduce me to tears, but some members managed to.

Because of that, I spent loads of money joining every site around rather than ask for help again. However, when I plucked up courage when desparate, you ladies came up trumps.Thank you oodles

Mustn't forget the lovely Dereck who does Derbyshire.

I simply had to add this received just minutes ago.


Ethel Re: Re: Re: New message from Cynthia 18/07/2009 20:23:57
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Hi Cynthia,
You don't know how much this will help me. I had no idea that I could get replies to my questions like this. I have just sent a reply saying thank you to a lady who sent her tracing details to me way back in Jan. I have spent mths simply reading the "trying to find" notice boards thinking that, should anyone reply, that is where I would find it.
Yes, you will realise I am new to this and also new to my computer too. I very much appreciate your help, take care, Ethel


Oh I do wish GR would get their act together and post plain, easy to understand instructions for people like this.

and I'm the one who got the email from Ethel!


so many thanks Cynthia



and Ethel




and as I just told Ethel ....... I'm on here very briefly, having my lunch, before leaving for a week's holiday.


See you all when I get back.




switching off



sylvia

Once again, irresistible!! This has made my day and it's only 8.24am.


preferences.
Name Subject Date Reply Delete Print
Charlotte Re: New message from Cynthia 19/07/2009 01:05:12
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Thanks Cynthia!

You know, I have posted quite a bit over the years, to which most of my mails I could claim I never got an reply or answer to etc.. I always thought perhaps my inquiries were to ambigious or tough.

But tonight , your email took me totally by surprise! I looked for "My Threads" link, as you mentioned, which I swear didn't know about before - or didn't acknowledge somehow and magically there have been LOADS answered. All my old mails. Sometimes with more than 3 or more relpies. No way!!! I expected I got an email automatically everytime someone posted something in reply. Or a message in my in box. It's not the case is it?! Only sometimes. My goodness! (I'm so feeling stupid!)

I've been reading postings to some of my old inquiries from way back from 2008 tonight. It's now 01:58 in the morning. I'll have to read the rest tomorrow! This is amazing. I thank you so very much for telling me where to find this link. I'm sure the people who answered were REALLY annoyed not to hear back from me. I'm so excited now and owe it all to you!

Unfortunatly, I am not really in a situation to always answer emails promptly, but I usually get back to the computer in the late evenings. Think it's sad some can't wait a day for a reply. On the other hand who am I to talk after todays revelation! I'm guilty as charged - absolutley.

Once again Cynthia, thanks so much. Genes does work afterall! :)

HUGE HUG!
Charlotte.

Reply



I am so pleased for her.