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Irish relatives - no contest

that record offices don't stay open till around midnight. Claire

Hi again Sorry you had the same thing, Margaret. The person who 'nicked' our tree wasn't even a blood relative of mine - she is my Mum's cousin's wife!!! I never said anything, just rang my Mum up and moaned, but I think in future maybe I should do the same and e-mail branches... Or find somewhere to shove branches in one particular case (sorry, but it would be quite satisfying to get my own back, and with all my husband's years of work, some of them are quite sizeable). All the best Lysianne

I have been researching my husbands and my family tree for almost 20 years. I HATE it when rellies, usually at a family funeral or something, ask ' How far have you got back to then' It's about more than that. Also, if I mention it, 'haven't you finished doing that yet? you've been doing it for years' It will NEVER finish. I also get annoyed at people who dont own a map, dictionary or calculator. If you dont physically own them, they are on your bl***y computer. Either on Windows or Internet. Yes, I also refuse to give total access to my tree on GR. I also have had my whole tree put on a very remote connection of my husbands tree. She had my mother, father, sister, grandparents etc on it. They are not even slightly related to her except through my marriage to my husband who is her 7th cousin 5 times removed or something. When asked to remove them, I was told I was pompous. I had a 5th cousin who claimed all my work as his own. He hadnt spent a penny on it. Sent his brother round to proudly show me all his hard work. Its a wonder I didnt explode. I was fuming. I am not so stupid now. No one sees all my tree. If they are connected I send a file via email of that part of the family that is connected to them. It never includes living people. Margaret

When they say to me 'Have you finished your Family Tree yet?' NO I HAVEN'T - and how will I know when I have, anyway? And - this is going to sound like a rant against Newbies - people who decide to do their Family Tree without doing even the most basic reading first. Every library in the land has umpteen books for beginners, and even this Site (LOL) has instructions on How To Do It. And why are these also the people who do not possess a Dictionary or an Atlas? Christopher - I often question people about their sources of information. I want to know if its fact, or whether its just what their Grandad remembered his Auntie Ethel telling him - which often turns out to be anything but a fact! Olde Crone

Sorry Rosemary, I can't resist ..... The Royal Oak ... 4 doors up ! I go up for 1/2 lager every Christmas Eve ! Elaine ;-) ... I know, it's pathetic innit !

People who assume there is only one John Smith in the world and so dates/places are not needed as we all know who they are talking about People who think they can research their tree in a matter of hours/days.... Anyone who asks how far I've got and when I say early 19th century assume that I've only been at it a few months and treat me like a complete novice... I just happen to be patient, have a full time job and student debts and have actually been doing this for over 4 years!

Has any body else ever come across other message boards (NOT this one, obviously) where everybody just seems to be out to show off their knowledge, rather than actually HELP people? Where you are made to feel quite uncomfortable, or stupid, for just asking a question? Where you cannot express an opinion or state a fact without being grilled mercilessly about your sources? (And God help you, if you commit a typo!!!) If you have, then you will understand why I hate them so much - and prefer to use genesreunited messageboards! Keren P.S. Zoe - I sympathise. A similar thing happened in our family and my Dad is in the same position as you.

members of teh family who after a big fallng out 5 years ago we've only heard from once (following a death) and then send a message via Genes saying they've been meaning to get in touch for ages. Well we still live in the same house we have for 30 years with the same phone number and names. So - NO - I don't want to give you access to my tree which took years of research and my hard earned money to do because you can afford to pay someone to do it if you're that interested or get up off your *rse and learn how to do it yourself if you had two braincells to rub together if you consider owning up to the 40 grand you nicked out of your mum's estate and give it to the people she wanted to have it (her grandchildren) then I may consider sharing it with you, 'Auntie' (as you like to sign yourself). thats my pet hate. Obviously - this gripe is fairly specific to me. Zoe (who needed to get that off her chest for weeks and feels much better now)

my pet hate is rellies that cant remember where they were born, or if they can, insist on telling the ennumerator somewhere else, or being 'out' on census night so someone else gave the details. Have decided to get even, next census night, and going to decamp to a hotel somewhere totally obscure, for the hell of it!! Alice x

Hi The thing that really got me was the relative who has also looked into the family tree a little who I e-mailed our tree to. Without asking, they put the whole tree on here.... Maybe it's small-minded, but our tree includes not just my side, but my husband's as well, which has absolutely no connection to them (except for me), and which he spent years researching every Saturday morning before the internet came along... So when we joined GenesReunited, we were somewhat surprised to find all his years of hard work (as well as mine) passed off under their name... I'm all for helping people and pooling resources, but I thought that was going a bit far... Needless to say, their requests to view our tree, with a lot of new research in it, in the two years since we joined have been ignored. I make sure that if I add anyone else's information to the tree, I always check it's OK first, as I'd hate anyone else to seethe like I did. Anyway, that's my rant over with, and apart from that, and a few minor irritations, I find genealogy really enjoyable, and full of nice, kind, helpful people Lysianne

Big Brickwalls that show no sign of a crack. But, I hate it when someone asks how the family research is doing ,& when I launch into some info their eyes glaze over & you can see that they arnt interested. IF they not interested THEN DONT ASK!!. Sorry for shouting , but it does get to me. Shirley

well my pet hate is everything you have all said :-(

Thank you for your messages, when I answered the question 'how far have you got back to' at a family get together saying the 1700's with one line, the answer was oh that all. Well after all it was only about 3 years work. Irene

Record offices charging £24 an hr for look-ups!!! I havent won the lottery... Also people not replying when you send them a message - esp if youre certain theyre a link in your tree.

Hiya, You are going along quite happily and then you come up against a BRICKWALL !!!!!! I have got two of THEM at the moment. :-)) Best Wishes Regards Vera

The people who ask me if I've found out anything interesting recently..... and then don't stop to listen, LOL! And on Nell's theme, though this is more a passionate regret, KNOWING that several of my Devon ancestors left wills (in a family where all four grandparents were born with the same surname), some within the period covered by Estate Duty. A bomb fell on Exeter in WW2 and they were all destroyed. I wouldn't have minded quite so much, if I hadn't found a typescript list of testators that someone had drawn up.

getting into grumpy old woman mode... repeatedly reading threads on here (or more usually Tips) asking for the same sort of basic information, sometimes half a dozen a day. Don't people ever check if a similar question has been asked before posting?

My pet hate is members of my family who write or phone to say ' oh I heard that you are doing the family history, -Can I have a copy, ' They don't understand the hours, not to mention the pounds spent on certificates etc. I tell them that I could help them look for themselves, but they're not interested.

Getting an e-mail from a GR member saying that our mutual gt x 3 grandmother was illegitimate and then not responding when I asked for details! Finding that another gt grandmother was illegitimate and the bastardy bonds records which might have shown who her father was have not survived! Finding a new site on the internet and getting all excited only to discover that either a) it doesn't have the parish I want or b) it does have the parish I want but not the years I want or c) it does have the parish and years I want but not any of my surnames! nell