Find Ancestors

I'd hate to be someone new to the boards if I was greeted with some of the sharp remarks on this thread.

It doesn't encourage newbies to post in fear of being accused of wasting someone's time.

I don't get it. Perhaps someone can enlighten me. Someone posts a request and several people go and look for the information. Helper A posts the information does this then mean that everyone else have wasted there time? If not, then why not. I accept it is best to discourage duplicate threads but there is no reason to be impolite in the way a poster is informed that it is bad etiquette to post the same request on multiple boards or in the way that information is passed on.

Reggie, I don't see being polite as waffling, I see it as encouraging potentially nervous individuals to post requests.

It was reported a long time ago Ann and, as usual, no one has had the good manners to say why they have done it. Maybe they haven't got the courage ??

Personally, Reggie, I've never considered being pleasant as 'waffling' - more a case of courtesy towards the other person.

Have you tried?

or

Could you please

Comes over much nicer than 'Use' or 'post this'

The members who post on these boards are not children and do not need to be spoken to as though they are

May I clarify one point

My suggestion that the OP post on the Military Board and delete the one on here was added BEFORE there was any indication that a duplicate thread had been posted.

I'm afraid I don't go in for 'waffle' - it just isn't me.

Personally, I am not bothered as to how much help anyone has given on these boards, it's the way those seeking help are spoken to that bothers me.


Finding things out for yourself is fun...yes, so why not a kindly......"You may find it helpful to use freebmd" and........"It would be appreciated if you could please delete this/that thread so that those who are helping don't duplicate any work. Thanks."

It isn't hard to be polite.

Ann

You might have missed the point ( I could say: 'You are wrong'...there is a difference)

It's about 'how' you advise, in terms of tone etc

I support a lot of posters on here, I don't have to agree with the way they say things

Not only are tact and diplomacy missing BananaNana, I actually wonder whatever happened to giving advice in a polite, friendly and pleasant manner?

Some comments ARE very abrupt and snappy and I would be most upset if they were aimed at me.

The people who ask for help are not sitting an exam - we are not interrogators on these boards, we have simply offered to help based on the experience we have gained over the years. If I offer to help anyone be it either on or off board, I always try to do it in a pleasant and positive way - that is how I was brought up.

For heaven's sake, It should be perfectly possible to give guidance without making people feel small.


Long term membership of this site is not a sign of knowledge as to how the boards work.

Don't worry Josie

Some people say it straight, others flower it up........lots of different personalities

Not sure the OP should have been RR'd though. Det pointed it out and that was enough surely, for us experienced members

Poppie (BananaNaNa) - unfortunately this is the one drawback of email as opposed to voice contact. There are no nuances....we can try and emphasise sometimes by CAPITALS to stress but then some people consider this to BE SHOUTING!!!!

We can add the emoticons

But at the end of the day it all comes over in black (and technically white) with no grey in between.

And posting the same query on more than one board just causes a possible duplication of effort...but we've all been there done that I suspect....but only once!!!!

:-D :-D :-D :-D

But as Reggie originally said - assuming the query which has gone to review on this board was the same as posted on the military board - the military board is the place for this. People looking on there will probably be more militarily informed (I don't look anywhere or post anywhere other than Find Ancestors because I think this is probably the all-round board).

Jude

I guess that tact and diplomacy seem to be no longer something to employ when addressing others

You weren't being attacked..............for pity's sake. Don't be so touchy

I find these comments about how long a person has been a member.....they should know this and that rather stupid.

I have been a member since 2007......NO I have not......I signed up and added my name and did not return until 2010

My dad did the same in 2006 so should he one day decide to use the boards or even attempt to build a tree......should he know how it all works as he has supposedly been a member for the last 8 years?

DazedConfused

I may have been a member since 2005, but haven't used the boards much when I have people have been extremely helpful until know, I am saddened I have been what appears to be attacked after doing something for someone else and taking advise from another member.

Yes I'm aware as you put it "people use their subs" to help me, I have at times added bits for others not much help I know but none the less been happy to do it.
Those that have given their time to me have been kind and always thanked



AnnCardiff
Report Mark this as answered
12 Feb 2014 14:33

abrupt maybe - but to the point

Now feel inclined not to seek advise from some who claim to be there to help

For those of you who have been helpful and accept my mistake I thank you and apologies

Poppie

As you have been a member since 2005 you should really know the 'polite' rules of the boards. ie one post on one board for a specific query.

Posting the same request on 2 boards is frowned upon, purely because some people will not look at all the boards, and you will get the same replies from many people. Nothing annoys members more than doing a lot of research for another member only to find out that it has all been done on another Board. Remember people are using their subs to help you.

Stick to one board (common practice) and you will get all the help you need from that one post.

Reggie
I find your reply a little abrupt

+++DetEcTive+++

Thank you for the web site I have posted there

Kind regards
poppie

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards/board/military_chat/thread/1337310

posted on 12 Feb 2014 at 08:26

Use Forcesreunited

Post this on Military Chat - and delete from this board

Hello All

I am looking for information for a friend, he would like to locate anyone who may have served with his dad during National Service.

Edward Henry Atkins
DOB 29 May 1934
Died 2005

Served 1952 ? Malaysia
1953 Singapore

Company may have been R A O C

Any information would be appreciated.

Thank you in advance

Poppie