Find Ancestors

I am in total agreement but have some observations.

Researchers on here complain that the boards are not as busy as they used to be. Is it surprising when a first time poster is greeted with........

Where have you looked?
What have you done for yourself?
Try Free BMD
Duplicates not allowed .........and promptly RR'd

My heart sinks when I read some of the responses. If it was me posting for the first time I wouldn 't come back but search for somewhere that offers a more friendly response.

When we post information on here for a poster we are delivering customer service as representatives of GR. To do that with such a poor attitude is bad for the Company and bad for the researchers as it cuts down membership and in turn the queries that hit the boards.

There are a couple who work the boards who do it continually. No names.......no pack drill. But it doesn't matter how many times they change their name and return under a different guise we know who they are by the way they treat their customers!

It's a vicious circle and I really don't know how to remedy it unless GR bite the bullet and take some action.

To everybody

I agree wholeheartedly with EVERYTHING EVERYONE has said. I hope that I am never rude though I am sometimes brief (especially early in the morning in the week when I am off to work for the day).

I only saw the thread after it had been rr'd and kept a look out for it yesterday in case it reappeared. And then of course it disappeared altogether. I assume the poster just decided it wasn't worth the hassle.

Olwen, don't be put off posting. Most of the people on here who help (and most of them have posted on this thread) actually ENJOY helping out. I certainly do and, as I have got more experienced myself, I have actually wanted to put something back in for all the help I have received.

Jude

I also cringe at the responses from a tiny minority of our regular members.

There is no absolutely no excuse for bad manners, and these members must know the difference between Curt and Courtesy.

Not at all MarieCeleste, to be honest I never saw the delete button at the top, so have just done it.

That is what we want a nice pleasant helpful suggestion when something goes wrong.

Thanks

Olwen

Ollie (and everyone else who feels the same), don't hesitate to ask for help.

If anyone is abrupt then that is their problem, just ignore it.

Will you think I'm being off if I suggest you just delete a duplicate? (Mine sometimes post twice if I've been impatient when the boards are running slow and I keep jabbing the submit button - I usually just do a sneaky delete and hope no-one had noticed).

It's for the same reason that I am hesitant about asking for help.
When I read some of the extremely abrupt replies, I feel so sorry for the other person and wonder whether they will ever ask for help again.

We all make mistakes and forget to put relevant points when asking for help so a gentle prod would help better instead of a rude comment. We ask for help because we are relatively new at this game

I do think it is lovely when I see a post from a newbie and most of you marvellous members welcome them and gently guide them through the process.

So to the rude and abrupt ones, please bear this in mind before replying.

I couldn't agree MORE!

I have often thought that the tone and abruptness of certain replies is totally uncalled for, and off-putting.
If that is their attitude, why reply at all?

I must admit, I have been very hesitant to ask for help at times because of these peoples abrupt tones, but I have had some great responses from the majority of members, and I thank them wholeheartedly.

Christine.

I come one these boards once in a while, not as much as many of you, and have done for quite a few years now.

I have often been just on the point of piling in and saying 'do you have to say these things in such a rude and aggressive manner' and have always stopped for fear of shooting myself in the foot for help in the future

It kind of amounts to internet bullying doesn't it?

No one actually has to help on these boards, they do it for fun, so why get quite so nasty about it all, if they don't like what people post or the way they post it, then don't help

anyway maybe I will pile in next time :-D

Gins. Gins. Gins. Gins. Gins.


Is that okay? Silly plank. ;-)

Thank you MC, at least you noticed me :-D

Patchem, I think I started swearing when I had children! Not in front of them though

:-)

Gins,
I stopped swearing once I had children as I could not tell them off for doing something that I did.
The youngest is now 22 so as long as they do not read the boards I should be OK.

Well Gins, I'm mentioning you now!! :-D

Hu.........see I dont get a mention :-P

PH......move up please and I'll join you on the cringing bench - it's probably getting a bit full now.

Gai... I presume it was the board police.

Patchem....there's nothing wrong with your eloquence.

Jonesey - you sure know how to charm a girl - of riper years!

DET saw the post by the 83 year old lady and thought exactly the same. I was actually prepared to go in 'all guns blazing' if anyone said so much as a cross word to her.

Potty.....I like your point. If people can't help, then they should just move on.

MC.....don't talk daft ......you are the epitomy of friendliness and politeness on the boards. I often admire the way you cope with new posters and their foibles.


Hey ho......here's to happy, polite and friendly boards.... :-D :-D

You are always helpful MC, cant say Ive ever seen anything to the contrary

I have seen some rather blunt comments from time to time, however, its the sarci ones that get my goat

I know I can sometimes be a bit sharp with posters who should know better (and who have been given the pack drill umpteen times previously) but I always try to remember to say "welcome to the boards" when it's someone's first post and usually address them by name with a Hi or Hello when asking for further info.

I'd put a cross reference to that Ayres thread but removed it as people found their way to it.

Cripes Patchem...................that language is not like you

I do so agree about the tone of some posters. On one thread, the poster was told that he had no chance of finding anything as the person he was searching for was the mother of an adopted illegitimate child. Well, with some help (and going down a few wrong tracks), the poster found the correct family and an 83 year old lady was reunited with cousins and spoke for the first time in her life to a blood relative.

Perhaps, if somebody doesn't think they can help a poster, they should just keep quiet.

There's a thread (actually she double posted) on Suggestions from a lady who says she is 83 asking for help to trace her ancestors.

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/boards/board/suggestions/thread/1320937

A number of views but no replies. It only needs one person to go in there and 'tell her off' about being on the wrong board or RR for the same reason, and she'll probably run a mile.

Like others, I do wish that whoever RR's a post has the courtesy to PM the poster and give them time to edit. We don't all live in the same time zone, or sit at our computers for hours on end!

I literally sit here cringing with embarrassment sometimes when i read some of the replies that are posted to members on here. Particularly to new/newish members.

I often PM new members when i see they have not returned to a thread. And quite often, they feel so intimidated by the response they have received that it puts them off from posting again.

Just plain rude and patronising in my opinion.

Someone did suggest that GR employ a moderator..........but why would GR employ a moderator when there is someone who has taken on that roll for free!!