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The Mary Cosbey in 1891 in Ousden is living next door to James Outlow who is Mary Lofts' brother/half-brother(see 1861 census). Too many coincidences here i think!

Well there's no John Costey with wife Mary anywhere in 1881. YAY I think we've got them.
Think the original cert for this marriage would be a good idea. What do you think?

ASTRA!!!!!! QUICK!!

What do you think of this? I have been looking at all the Marys born in Ousden who are the right age. One of them is called Mary Lofts.
Then I found this:

Marriages Dec 1880
COSTEY John Joseph Newton A. 5b 261
Lofts Mary Newton A. 5b 261

When Mary goes back to Suffolk she calls herself Mary Cosbey. Bit of a coincidence don't you think???

Going to investigate further!

Holmes and Dr. Watson wouldn't have stood a chance!
Will check out the military record when I come back but after a quick glance I'm sure you are right Janice. Gotta dash again as the dog is desperate for a walk.

Hehe! Sherlock Holmes has nothing on us!!

Nice one Janice. Been out and just switched back on to check what's been happening.
It certainly looks like our Mary. She gives her birthplace as Suffolk so i guess she just went back there and John changed his name to disguise who he was.
Cyber high five coming your way!

Here's Henry and Melicent's marriage

Marriages Dec 1850

Cosby Henry Portsea I 7 294
Purchase Melicent Portsea I. 7 294

and christening of first child

WILLIAM HENRY COSBY Pedigree
Male
Christening:
21 SEP 1851 Saint Thomas, Portsmouth, Hampshire,
Parents:
Father: HENRY COSBY
Mother: MELICENT

Bloody mothers, she has just said that there was a rumour that john and annie were never married? going out now be back later

No. I think wife 1 Mary really was from Suffolk and went back there when John went off with Annie. At the moment, anyway, I think this is our Mary and we are on the right track. The army records for John Joseph give his father as john - address unknown, which kind of fits nicely with a runaway John.

OMG, maybe I am wrong, but looking through your findings, Johns Dad Henry had 5 children, one was John, and the unthinkable one was Mary, if you look she is the right age, was there incest????
Athur is my grandfather yes.

Also I found a marriage I think between John and Annie 1884 jul-spt 2a 942?
Going out now but cant wait to get back

OK Ray, here's something for you to do.
Type Alice Washford into the search box. You want the one born 1905 in Lewisham. There's a chap called edward who has her in his tree. Please would you send him an e-mail to see what he knows about Alice's mother Daisy, and her mother Mary. Need to find out if this Mary is your John's Mary.
Similarly there is a Roger Washford who has Daisy in his tree who needs an e-mail too!

We'd love a surname for Mary - and any family gossip you can get hold of ;-)

Ray, is Arthur your grandfather? If this Mary is the right one, Arthur had 2 half-siblings he didn't know about!

Bingo! What do you think?

1891

Daisy Cosbey
Age: 8
Estimated birth year: abt 1883
Relation: Daughter
Mother's Name: Mary
Gender: Female
Where born: Ousden, Suffolk, England

Civil parish: Ousden
Ecclesiastical parish: Ousden
Town: Ousden
County/Island: Suffolk
Registration district: Newmarket
Sub-registration district: Cheveley

Mary Cosbey 31
Daisy Cosbey 8
John Cosbey 7

Mary gives her status as 'married' but there's no bloke around.

by the time i return you will have this solved!!!!!!!, please mum calls me Raymond, its Ray. Mum told me it was a mysterious family, now its coming true. Is there anything else I can do/get, just let me know, this is so exciting

Astra,

Have a look at the WW1 service records for John Joseph Cosby. Image 443 regarding next of kin :-)
What do you think?
The sister Daisy referred to is Daisy Louise who married Edward Washford. Daisy Louise's birth was registered in Newmarket which includes part of Suffolk. Maybe Mary went home to Mum.

Janice

Can't find a marriage for John to Mary either!!

There's a Daisy Cosby birth and death registered in N. Abbott in Q2 of 1881. Wonder if she was John and Mary's.
Also a John Joseph Cosby birth in 1884 but can't find anything on him subsequently yet.

I'll just post this for when Raymond returns.

Births Sep 1863 (>99%)
SIMMONS Annie Rosetta Newton A 5b 141


1871


Annie R Simmons
Age: 7
Estimated birth year: abt 1864
Relation: Daughter
Father's Name: Benjamin T
Mother's Name: Sarah
Gender: Female
Where born: Torquay, Devon, England
Civil parish: Tormonham
Ecclesiastical parish: St John
Town: Torquay
County/Island: Devon
Country: England
Registration district: Newton Abbot
Sub-registration district: Torquay
ED, institution, or vessel: 9
Household schedule number: 283
Household Members:
Name Age
Benjamin T Simmons 44
Sarah Simmons 33
Benjn Simmons 9
Annie R Simmons 7
Elzth Simmons 5
William Simmons 4
Charles Simmons 2


1881


Annie Simmons
Age: 18
Estimated birth year: abt 1863
Relation: Servant
Gender: Female
Where born: Torquay, Devon, England
Civil parish: Tormoham
County/Island: Devon
Occupation: Housemaid
Registration district: Newton Abbot
Sub-registration district: Torquay
ED, institution, or vessel: 17
Neighbors: View others on page
Household Members:
Name Age
Martin Strickland 60
Agnes Mary Strickland 45
Isabel Anne Strickland 37
Paulina Mary A. Strickland 32
Emma Josefa Strickland 30
Laura S. Strickland 29
Mary Middleton 34
Emma Lane 19
Annie Simmons 18

This puts her in Tormoham in 1881 which is exactly where John Cosby is with Mary

John Cosby
Age: 23
Estimated birth year: abt 1858
Relation: Head
Spouse's name: Mary
Gender: Male
Where born: Guernsey, Channel Islands
Civil parish: Tormoham
County/Island: Devon
Country: England
Street Address: 11 Ilsham Cottages
Condition as to marriage: Married
Occupation: Cabman
Registration district: Newton Abbot
Sub-registration district: Torquay
ED, institution, or vessel: 17
Neighbors: View others on page
Household Members:
Name Age
John Cosby 23
Mary Cosby 22


I can't find a marriage for Annie Simmons so maybe your mother was correct about her name!

Have a great time over the pond Raymond. Look forward to hearing from you on your return.

Thanks again to you both, I ordered the certificate last night. When it arrives I will post the info on here, but when it gets here I will be in America so there will be a delay.
Whilst that I am away i will keep an eye on here in case you discovery anything else. Have a great weekend.

Why don't you buy Arthur's birth certificate?

Births Dec 1889
Rouse Arthur Marylebone 1a 553

See what names are given for the parents and what former name(s) the mother has.

You can do it online at

http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/