Find Ancestors

Now those I understood.. :-) :-) :-)

More Yorkshire humour for Gin. Courtesy of Mr Magoo on General Chat.:

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.

Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"


............................................................................

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

Vet: "Is it a tom?"

Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."

.............................................................................


A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.


Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"


Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"


Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"

.............................................................................



The last is always best



Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist

"Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"

Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

The boards certainly seem to be in decline. There was more movement when there was a 'dispute' going on!!!


Cleaning around this morning I decided, as I often do, to vacuum the keyboard on m laptop.

WHOOPS!

Keys T, Y and 2 disappeared up the nozzle!! :-0


I had to rummage around in the cleaner bag to find them..... :-D


Took my friend out this afternoon and then, this evening, went to you-know-where to help sort out the new pew cushions we have bought.

The fun never ends!!! :-D

We went out for dinner....came back and the board has hardly moved

:-(

I really think that it is Ginns !!

Dea Xxx :-(

Cripes, it's so quiet on GR....more so than usual

Is it dying :-(

Ha ha ha......but so true!

:-D

Ha ha ha......but so true!

:-D

One Gin might find amusing:

A Yorkshire born rugby league fan is drinking in a bar in Manchester when he gets a call on his mobile phone.

He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Yorkshire baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the rugby fan just shrugs and replies, 'That's about average in Yorkshire ... like I said, my boy's a typical Yorkshire baby boy. Gonna be a rugby league player.'

Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of 'WOW!' One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later, he returns to the same bar. The bar man says, Say, aren't you the father of that typical Yorkshire baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?'

The proud father answers, 'Twenty pounds.'

The bar man is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. 'What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!'

The Yorkshireman takes a slow swig of his Bitter wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bar man and proudly says,




'Had him circumcised...' :-D

Good morning all.... :-D


Ooooooer....Persie...that looks wonderful. Please can I have some of all of the above..?. :-D Thank you. Much appreciated. <3


Dea it sounds as though you have been on quite an expedition and it must have been quite nerve wracking. I love driving, but I do like to know where I am going and to be confident in the route.

Watch you don't get side-tracked onto the dodgems when you go to the fair. Mind you, it sounds as though it will be like the dodgems just getting there.... :-0


I like your new avatar Gins and it's very true.


Jonesey my friend, your dogs sound wonderful. So what if you have a bit of ripped wallpaper or a carpet to trip over.....the companionship and loyalty a dog can bring to a person's life, often far outweighs human company. <3

Throughout our marriage we have had eight dogs in total and each had their own distinctive character and personality traits. The smallest we ever had was a Yorkie and the largest was a Rottweiler/collie who, sadly, I found hanging by his chain collar on the wrought iron gates. I will never, ever forget that moment and, never again, would I ever use a chain collar on a dog. :-(

On the bright side though, they brought so much fun, laughter and happiness into our lives and we will never forget them. Despite chewed wires and torn wallpaper!! ;-)


Off for a browse....~~

Good morning all :-)

Ooooh Persie - this all looks and smells wonderful :-D :-D :-D

I will have some smoked bacon, sausages, scrambled egg and roast tomatoes please on some nicely toasted foccacia............................. Yuuummmmm ! 0- That was SO worth getting out of bed for ! :-D :-D

Thank you Persie, <3

Dea Xxx

Yeah..................thank you Pers :-)

Poached eggs Florentine with baby spinach on toasted foccacia bread

Yum yum

Mornin all~~~~~~~

On the servery: Make up your own combination..

Freshly sliced fruit Croissant and Danish pastries
( I had a lovely cinnamon and caramel swirl today.. not had one like that before..had a bit of apple in it as well.. was very sticky and very nice)

Scrambled eggs
Hash browns
Smoked bacon
Roast tomatoes
Home style sausages

Served with freshly brewed coffee and tea selection
Decaffeinated Tea and Coffee also available

Or choose one of the following..

Poached egg Benedict with ham on an English muffin

Poached eggs Benedict with smoked salmon on an English muffin

Scrambled eggs with smoked salmon on toasted Ciabatta bread

French toast with fresh seasonal berries & lemon cream fraiche

Buttermilk pancakes with fried banana & crispy bacon, maple syrup

Poached eggs Florentine with baby spinach on toasted foccacia bread


Persie

Dea

"You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.”


John Bunyan



I did that today

Ooohh bu~~~er Ginns - I cant see what you have in your new avatar without going for new glasses !"!!!!

Dea Xxx

Sure do Ginns !! - It is EVERYWHERE !!!

Dea Xxx

Glad you survived the day Dea, I hate not knowing how to get to a place....at least you know where the fair is!

Returning to the subject of dogs, I agree that they can be loving but as puppies they can also be little B's.

When we first had Rufus his 2 passions were biting through any trailing wires he could find and tearing off any wallpaper he could get a grip of. The former cost a couple of telephone extension leads, the lead to my router and most frustrating and costly to replace was the lead to the hand control of our electrically adjustable bed. As far as damage to wall coverings is concerned look closely enough and you will discover that there are bits of wallpaper missing in just about every room in the house.

How we acquired Oscar is quite an amusing story. Mrs J returned with him following a visit to our daughters saying that she was just looking after him for a few days. After a week during which time he had disgraced himself a few times I asked MrsJ when she was taking him back. She said that she wanted to keep him and we then had a row as I said that I did not want another puppy running riot in the house. I came the heavy and told her to take him back to our daughter which she duly did. I then got "The Treatment". I am sure you ladies will know exactly what I mean by that. After a few days I could stand it no longer so I capitulated saying that if she still wanted him she could have him. She didn't need telling twice because within half an hour he was back with us, installed as a permanent family member.

His hobby as a puppy was unfitting carpets. Both our lounge and our main bedroom are wider than the width of a roll of carpet. Consequently in each room an additional strip of carpet about 18" wide by the length of the room is needed to complete the installation. This is fixed down by the use of double sided adhesive tape. Oscar discovered that if you bite the carpet hard enough and shake your head violently enough you can tear the additional strip completely free. Similar destruction can be done in each doorway where the carpets in each room meet one another. Thanks to Oscar's efforts our fitted carpets no longer fit as well as they once did.

Bless em. :-D

Well, I managed to get there, and back home again though I haven't a clue where I have been ;-) :-D I have seen places which I have never seen before and it took me three times as long as it normally would...........

Don't want to go again but we have to take the grandchildren to the Fair on Friday but I will make sure hubby drives ;-) :-D

Dea Xxx

Ooo - I just found the mushrooms - thank you Cynthia <3

Dea Xxx