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now I'm not lost!

You may have seen these but I thought some were funny

Miscellaneous - Actual Extracts From Insurance Claim Forms

1. I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary
than I thought.

2. I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet.
I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it
with a blanket.

3. Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the
accident?

A: Traveled by bus?

4. This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions
and answers on the claim form were:

Q: What warning was given by you?

A: Horn

Q: What warning was given by the other party?

A: Moo

5. I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel
and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused
me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.

6. On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly
broke.

7. I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the
pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost
control.

8. I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

9. I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not
have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

10. Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other
pastimes of a hazardous nature?

A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.

11. First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a
haggis ran into the rear of second car.

12. Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.

13. The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him
again.

14. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

15. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
intention.

16. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

17. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

18. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

19. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

20. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home.
As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my
vision and I did not see the other car.

21. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my
universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

22. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the
pedestrian.

23. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

24. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and
vanished.

25. I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later
found in a ditch by some stray cows.

lol!!!

Love it!!!

Morning girls

Off to Boston Norfolk today, going on a friends boat there for the day.

So keep smiling Ginny, I want plenty of sun shine.


Though for the day:



Have you ever thought: What if the ‘Hokey Kokey’ really IS what it’s all about?


Have a good day hunting


Note on a previous comment of yours:

SMILE, and the world will smile with you.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

Brilliant Ja..x

Thanks J...x


Just what was needed.



Gins, I know Pete asked you to smile.........



but



you don't need to grin like a Cheshire cat......



you're blinding me!

Rather relieved it is a little cooler than last Monday.

We have our home visit day again.

Please behave yourselves whilst I am gone.

See you all tonight.

Ginny I am so glad I have my sunspecs.

Beaming lots of sunshine for you all.....I have plumber coming to remove my wotsit and the plasterer coming on Saturday

So all I have to do is get that good for nowt brother of mine to sort the electrics out and then I can get the wardrobes fitted!


Ja..x I do like funnies!

You have trouble with your plumbing?????????????






I suggest Lady Tena.

If the plasterer is coming Gins you better start stripping hadnt you??

Plaster is for bedroom at the moment and Ive stripped already....sitting room is the next job

Get this.....

Yesterday I put the old microwave (steel) on the drive as we have the scrap boys come from time and they take it away

This morning the plumber sticks the rad on the drive. 2 mins later a knock at the door....scrap man, can he take them away!

Timing to perfection..

And Missy Kira.......there is nowt wrong with my plumbing, I does my pelvic floor exercises!

I decided I was going to always do pelvic floor exercises after I weed myself on the bus...just after the birth of my first boy...

Plumber is getting a good eyeful then if you were stripped already...:))

I did have to strip the paper from behind the rad...nice floral number c1940

And I had to hoover too, mind the dust was so thick I thought at one point I might need a shovel...ewee

Dirty Gins

If I’m not banged up in the nick and my brothers not dead by Saturday....

....It'll be a bl##dy miracle

I have a plumber who knows what I want and can do it

I have a plasterer who knows what I want and can do it

I have a wardrobe fitter who knows what I want and can do it

I have an electrician with one brain cell short of plant life

It would have easier for me to enrol and take a 'sparks' course than it is for him to sort the socket out...grrrr

And why do my brothers think 'little sis' is thick as too short planks! Speaking of planks I could do with one to knock his head off

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What the.....why cant I log in???

So I click here and then home and bingo...Im on

Sighs....

Get a different Elelectrician..

Sorted...

Thank You Miss Gaslight for your ingenius suggestion....

...wheres that plank